229.

Cause this is how we do it nowadays.

228.

I stopped taking Lileeva to baby massage. She doesn't seem to be enjoying it lately and that was the whole point.
She's still not crawling or like being on her stomach. So lazy! She could roll over now like she done it a few times but is too lazy to do that too. Ah well...
We will be getting a baby walker so that shall help. Maybe she won't be a crawler but a straight off walker?! Anyways, the baby walker will help me keep sane as well, since Lileeva is still screaming from separation anxiety every time I leave the room. This way she can follow me or I can drag her to the kitchen when I'm doing the washing up and stuff.
She is back in the 09am-09pm routine luckily. She has a bottle at 09am then I put her back down cause she looks tired again, so while she's having a nap I have time for a bath and to get ready.
We are selling our big pram. Don't know how will we be able to manage that, cause all our friends have given birth already or bought the equipment for their unborn babies. It has to be a Gumtree or eBay thing but it's a bitch to pack and post cause it's big.

227.

I already feel a bit better
I'm generally happier, calmer and seem to be coping with Lileeva's screaming fits easier. Result!
Increased her milk and food intake lately which seems to be helping keeping her quieter. I recognise her high pitched screamo from the early days. Sigh.
Don't think I've mentioned that she's very good with finger food now, soon maybe we will ditch the jars. She mostly plays with the food yet and not realising that she has to open her fist to shove the last little bit in her mouth, but we're getting there.
Still can't do anything with her separation anxiety though, apart from bearing it.

By the way, just hit me how much of a girly girl I am! I never really played with dolls, have always (And still.) been hanging out with boys, and even though I learnt to dress up for occasions I do prefer trousers over skirts. Tomboy much. But when it comes to Lileeva I'm losing it every time! I love getting her dressed, matching the clothes, making her hair. I'm so happy that we turned out to be having a little girl. I'm so happy to have her.
Lee might be getting a new shift at work. He'd be doing 5 nights, 9 hours shifts instead of 4 nights, 12 hours shifts. If he sticks to not laying in every day he has got to go to work, it can even work out for us better as a family. We will see.

226.

So I went to the GP today and got pills.
I had issues for about 10-12 years but was never bothered. I only make a note out of it here, cause I had a good old rant in my previous entries so I felt necessary to mention that I'm on the mend. Hopefully.
But mainly, cause I've done it for Lileeva.
Same as my thyroid misery. Had problems with that for years as well but I wasn't bothered to have it checked out until she came along. It could've risked her health.
By now I gave up smoking and drinking too pretty much.
All in all I do things what I think are the bests for her. And with this, she's making me a better person for myself as well.
I just hope these pills work. I want to have control.

225.

I'm having so much trouble these days! Not only with Lileeva, but she does put me on the edge.
She is just crying all the time for no particular reason. (Teething maybe?)
This morning she had a 7 hour, pretty much non stop screaming fit. She woke me with it around 06am and has only stopped twice for a short time until 03pm. I had a rough night anyway, I couldn't sleep due to other stuffs troubling me, so the morning was hell itself.
Her separation anxiety is back as well. Woohay! Didn't know it comes and goes...
I hate that I lose my temper with her, I hate that I shout at her, I'm an awful parent. Literally don't know why is she screaming for, I try every possible things but no luck. It does my head in. Wish I could be more patient with her. Hope I'll find a solution for it very soon cause I don't want to push her away.

 She has also stopped eating. She has milk and porridge, but isn't keen on the rest. Lileeva wouldn't eat pureed vegetables I make for her and stopped eating mashed fruits too, unless there's banana in it. This basically means she hardly has anything between 12pm and 09pm.
We tried her back on jars again, the 7months+ lumpy ones but she doesn't usually take them either. It's like she eats the sweet ones and/or forces some down of anything from the above if she's really hungry, but not more than a few spoonfuls.
Lee's mum said she might just want milk instead of solids, but that's a step back. So does feeding her whenever she demands it. Harsh, but she seems to realise if she doesn't eat, she won't be getting anything until the next scheduled feed, apart from bits of crackers or crumbs from our food.
I do hope it's all just something to do with teething and will go away soon. Both the moodiness and pickiness.
I don't want to go mad over things like these, cause I really do love her. She just deserves to have a better mummy. Sigh.

224.

I just hope Lileeva loves me.
I know I have my moments and lose my head maybe a little too quick but it really is hard sometimes. Sometimes everything is alright then there are a few days when I just can't wait for the night and to be left alone, then so I can wake up all happy and can love her again 100% the next morning. Do think she feels the same every now and then cause even though she is moody throughout the evening, she always wakes up with the biggest smile.

Still trying to take her out, pretty much every day. Over the park, to nanny's, to Louise's, to baby massage or to meet with my friends. I want to keep her entertained and make her life interesting instead of just sitting with her between the same walls 24/7.
Lileeva has heat rash lately. No bumps but red patchy skin around her hair line and back. Must have something to do with her temperature caused by teething.
Her fifth is coming on the top left. Seems like once the top ones start to cut through they just wouldn't stop.

223.

Fourth tooth is out at last!
Lileeva suffered with this one, had high temperature for days, been super tired all the time but wasn't able to sleep during the day, and kept waking up earlier the mornings.
She became funny with vegetables lately as well. As it turns out, she hates cauliflower with passion and not so keen on anything else either.
By the look of it she only likes sweet stuff. I'm not happy.

On another note, we tried out our tiny pushchair and it's bang on! I'm close to say, I prefer this little used piece (£20 from eBay with shipping) over our super buff brand new tank (£250 with shipping). Even though Lileeva can only sit in it, it holds her straight, even it doesn't have rain foil or an umbrella, has no suspension at all, it has swirly wheels and super light! A definite good buy.
No, I don't mind the other, stylish pram but I'd prefer if it had swirly or at least smaller wheels.
I start to believe the less attractive, the better the pram is, seriously. Even though we only bought this one for our upcoming holiday, I'm definitely using it over the park when it's not too sunny or rainy.

222.

Lileeva's third tooth has cut through today, on top left! By the beginning of next week her fourth will be out too. Yay! This explains all this moodiness.
I'm utterly proud of her by the way. I started to give her finger food, like cooked fruits and vegetables, and she's loving them! She was choking on the pear yesterday but had no trouble with the apple this evening.
So I decided yesterday I'll put my mind off of this milk intake mistery and will do things how I think is right for my baby. Here is my 7 months+ feeding routine:
09am 180 ml bottle
12pm breakfast porridge made with 90 ml formula
03pm lunch vegetables both finger and puree
06pm dinner fruits both finger and puree
09pm 180 ml bottle

We had this health visitor kind of person on baby massage this Wednesday and she explained why is tummy time so important. (Can't remember to be perfectly honest, apart from the obvious; rolling over and crawling.) Anyways, Lileeva hated being on her stomach, -apart from the first couple of months of her life, when it's extra dangerous cause of cot death- but she seems to be getting used to it now. We are far from the recommended hour/day, but are getting there slowly. Least she doesn't start straight off when I put her down and can keep herself entartained for about 5-10 minutes with books or a mirror.

221.

I've been thinking lately that this 09pm bed time might be a bit late for Lileeva, after all some parents put their babies to bed around 06-07pm and Lileeva usually has a good old nap after her 06pm food... So I've done a research and 'normal' bedtime, -according to babies' bio-clock apparently- is between 07-0830pm. I tried to put her in bed yesterday an hour earlier, but all I got in return is her waking up 2.5 hours earlier than usual. Needless to say, I wasn't happy. Especially cause Lee was working... I shall really do these experiments on his day offs.
The exact same thing happened before, so we might as well just stick to this 09pm-09am routine.
When she stayed over at her nanny's, I've got reported that both days she was awake bang on at 0730am, not sure if she is at home too, but if she is, she doesn't make any noise and believe me, both my ears and the baby monitor is hyper sensitive. All in all, I'm not too worried.

This feeding situation is getting a bit lame. Starting with that Lileeva is not so keen on her milk intake anymore. She's eating her porridge happily, twice a day, but can hardly force 150 ml of milk down on her the mornings and evenings. I reckon she got the hang of solids now and drinking food out of a bottle became absurd for her.
Also, I got utterly lazy since our holiday in Budapest and I mainly feed her with jars instead of making purees like I used to. We are quite tight with money now, not even sure which option is cheaper, but I'm almost certain the home made purees are healthier than the super-organic jarred ones. So my mission is to get back on track with the fruits and vegs, no home made meat though, I don't want to chance on food poisoning.
I'm really keen on giving Lileeva finger food, even as a main meal once a day, she looks interested and knows what to do with it, the only problem is that she doesn't yet have top teeth so it's a trouble for her to chew. Bless, she really did look interested in that cauliflower the other day.
Sooner or later... (I still think sometimes, I'm pushing her into independence way too fast?!)