Nightmares. Dreamt, lived, going through it.
Potty is clearly not for Lileeva. Not yet. Her new thing is ripping the nappy off herself, but asking me to put it back on her every time she needs a wee or a poo. Suppose at least she knows when the need hits her.
According to many sites, pressuring them into using the potty or toilet makes everything worse, so just have to let them do it in their own times. I know it's still a long way, but if she doesn't click until January, I won't be able to send her to nursery I assume. Sigh.
Her eating is better, but still stressful. She gets bored easily, and if she's not distracted by the television or me feeding her, she just wouldn't eat her meals. Still wanting to mainly snack over eating proper meals. And by snack I don't necessarily mean junk, but fruits, yoghurts and biscuits.
Going by the instruction of the dietician, we ditched the bottle and are giving her a cup of milk before bedtime instead. This still doesn't up her dinner intake by much, but she is getting the hang of it finally.
Lately we have trouble with sleeping as well. She wouldn't have a bath -which she used to love!-, but throw a screaming fit, that lasts until, and beyond we put her to bed. We either have to sleep on the floor, next to her cot, or wait there, holding her hand until she's deep asleep, then sneak out. Which usually wakes her up and makes her scream and shout again.
So, by all means, I'm having a difficult time with her. I know it will pass, and I know it's only the 'terrible twos' aka the time of tantrums and wanting to control us... But it can be heartbreaking and nerve racking.
I do keep wondering (And probably always will, until the end of days.) whether or not I'm a good mum. I let her watch lots of T.V., I don't read bedtime stories, I do shout at her and I don't engage in as much and fun activities as lots of other parents do with their children.
Then again, I do try and take her out every day if it's nice; to feed the ducks, to a playgroup, to the playground, or to see a friend. I also try and make sure she is eating healthy, and lately I started to train in front of her, instead of during her nap times. She sometimes even copies me, and I like the fact she's raised in this kind of environment. Her view of life, and standards are developing now, and here's a good chance she can establish healthy and fit habits.
I've also noticed -comparing to other children around us-, that Lileeva listens to me. She doesn't always show respect, but neither does she control me. When I tell her to hold my hand at the crossing, even if she isn't keen, she does it, unlike other children who just laugh at their parents and run out the main road, not at all stopping but having to be chased.
I'm not a perfect mum, but I am trying my best.