Lileeva's birthday

Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

Monday, 31 October 2011


This is no motivation week again.
Feeling tired and sleepy all the time. Reckon it has something to do with getting closer and closer to my due date, and of course the gloomy dark weather. Which I like very much, but makes me want to curl up in my pyjamas and snooze all day. So that's what I do.
Have a busy Friday behind. We got up kind of early ish and done a massive shopping. Pretty much stocked up all the cupboards, freezer and fridge so we shall be alright for a month and a half, two months. That was the plan, so one less thing to worry about when the baby is here.
Then we got ready and went out to party it up. We got to Electrowerkz for opening at 10pm but there was already a big queue so lucky we didn't go later like I suggested. Had a look around, and again, don't get how did I manage to find people there last year, absolutely drunk! The place is massive and has a layout of a labyrinth.
Anyways, we found our spot in the main room, grabbed a seat and that's where we stayed pretty much all night. Lee didn't really want to walk about in case we lose our bang tidy seats and to be honest, I didn't either mind staying on my ass. The event got busy very quick and it was a hassle to manage my way even to the toilets. I had a quite obvious bump and costume on me, people still didn't really notice it and were pushing me around. Don't blame them though, I'd have done the same I reckon.
The state of the loos were disgusting, almost forgot how it's like to be out in a warehouse like club (Or any kind of clubs nowadays really.) which I don't normally mind, but being a week away from my due date did make me pray every time I squatted above the toilet for my water not to break there and then.
Lee's dad picked us up on his way home from work at about 0130am, lucky thing; By then the club got unbelievable busy and fighting our ways through the crowded rooms to the cloakroom gave me a mini panic attack.
All in all it was a good night, and maximum respect for Lee, who didn't even want to get pissed without me, even though I kept offering him shots and drinks. I mean, I wouldn't have minded at all, but he rather have took it easy and looked after us, his ladies. My gentleman!

Wednesday, 26 October 2011


I keep banging on about how much I love the 90's and those 'good old times' when I was a kid. I know it's different now but I hope I'll be able to give some of this vibe to my daughter.
I found this today:

'People were born before 1990.
Everyone was born before 1990 is a real super hero, one of those survivors from a Hollywood movie.
If you think about it; it's a miracle that we are still alive...
We didn't have car seats, the medicine bottles were to be opened easily, in fact nor the drawers or doors had child protection on them.
When we went to cycle we didn't have elbow- and knee-pads, not a helmet, sometimes not even a proper bike!
We drank the water from the tap and weren't even sure what 'mineral water' stood for.
We weren't really bored, if we could we went out to play. Yes, outside! Our parents just guessed where we must've been, and that we were safe... Some of us didn't even have a land-line, let alone a mobile! Not for us kids, anyway.
During the summer we were playing in the waist-high grass or in the nearby forest but we didn't have allergic attacks or ended up covered in a rush. When fell, hurt ourselves, broke a bone or simply cracked our heads open, no one got sued. It was entirely our faults.
It was even OK for the stronger to smack the weaker, our parents didn't really complain about it either.
Comparing to Weightwatchers we multiplied the deadly dose of calories with each meal, even a fat, McDonald's fed American kid would be surprised of what we considered as 'food'. Just think about those school meals...
There were no Vitamin A, B, C, D, E in the hot chocolate, but was bitter 'cocoa' and still made us happy, when our parents mixed it with sugar and milk in a pan, serving it to us before bed.
We drank the classic, sweetener free but high in sugar raspberry squash, just as we mixed the lemonade for ourselves and ate the unwashed, sometimes unripe fruits straight off from the trees.
We had friends. Those whom we met on the street, the football field or around the table tennis. If not, we knocked on their doors and they let us in. We didn't have to ask either our or their parents, let alone they had to take and bring us by car. And we are still here!
Our house keys were hanging in our necks when we went out and we were playing with sticks, throwing a ball to and at each other. Still, didn't poke out each other's eyes and the rest of our wounds have all healed.
We had a policy of 'do what you can'. We only let you play football with us if you were good at it, if you weren't you had to stand on the side and watch, or play something else with someone else.
We didn't learn what love was from soaps, we experienced it on the street, with that first kiss.
When a teacher smacked us, we didn't stab him, sue him or complained about him at home to our parents. In fact, if we could hide the shame, we didn't even tell it!
We knew the rules, and when we made mistakes our parents weren't necessary on our sides. They taught us how to live with duty, guilt, responsibility and happy. We knew the weight and the meaning behind these words.
That's us, heros of a long forgotten time which today's youngsters are just smiling at, incomprehensibly.'


Sorted all my musics for labour finally!
Have a nice selection of house, progressive psy and minimal electronic, easy listening tunes such as artists like Beckers, Last Man Standing, Solar Fields, Suntree, Casio Samples, Zagar and of course Shpongle. 14 hours all together, should be enough.
As of the chill section, I'll be rocking it up with H.U.V.A. Network, Peace Orchestra and more Solar Fields. Only 6 hours worth of mixes, but I have a feeling I'll be craving for more intense music than ambient anyway.
Have them all synched on my phone as well, if I needed to take my mind off of things in the hospital.

Since Lileeva is squashing my organs and hardly lets me breathe, let alone eat (Oh the heartburn.) we decided with Lee to go for a natural type of induction straight after week 40. Only talking about a sweep or the hormone gel, which sometimes don't even work, so nothing serious, but I rather give them a go.
Not knowing where to go with the above request (Pretty much not knowing anything about what to do if I was overdue.) sent a text to my midwife on Monday, if and when was I supposed to see her again, and she replied I wasn't actually. What the hell?! I mean it's my first baby, I need to be looked after, especially cause I'm 'high risk'... That's what all my notes say anyway.
I called the hospital and the maternity help line the following day, both said it's Tracey, who supposed to be responsible for me whom after this I don't really want to go back to. She never for example checked the position of Lileeva, or measured my bump, all she done was giving me a booklet at the very beginning, talked me through a few stuff briefly and sent me to antenatal classes.
Rest of my information are collected from Google. No lies.
Instead of worrying or pissing myself off with thinking too much about it I just went in to the hospital today and had an appointment booked for myself for next Friday. The hospital midwives seemed nice and helpful, just what I need really. Hopefully they will explain everything and will let me have the sweep done straight away, or a couple of days after my due date. Will have to ask them of the method of the gel thing too, apparently not all hospitals let patients use the birthing pool after that?!
Ah well, see how it goes. I bet she's ready now, just taking over after her daddy and can't be bothered moving but staying comfy, safe and sound as long as she can. Aww. My two lazy beans.

Tuesday, 25 October 2011


I pimped her ride!
Still looks amateur and cheap, but definitely comfier than it looked before. And at least she has little friends to look at and poke around. This is obviously her all time home rocking chair, the another big black one is for the road. Not like we have a car or can drive, but will come useful when we need to get a lift by someone.


Done lots of researches the other day about birth giving itself.
It started off with wondering what position would be the best in the birthing pool. Obviously I won't be able to know it until I get there, but it's good to be informed about the options. If I remember right the pool is wide, so won't be able to kind of float on my back, having Lee holding me under my shoulders and to push myself with my legs, they just wouldn't reach to the other side. Only having Lee grabbing me on one end, having my legs floating around wouldn't be comfy I think. Same with resting them on the bottom in this position since my spine would be hollow.
I kind of imagine facing Lee, standing/squatting in the pool or if it had an edge inside, kneeling on it. This would be the best really.
The hospital I'll be giving birth at doesn't let fathers/birthing partners in the pool for some reason, but don't think it's going to be an issue. Not position wise anyway.
Here is a useful link about how to use a birthing pool, and this one is about the pros and cons. Don't see many cons, to be honest, apart from the infection, but hey... If you can't handle your own pee, you shouldn't ever go to swimming pools, to the sea or to any other public water. You get the point.
My issue is with myself only. Obviously the midwife will monitor Lileeva's heart rate every now and then, so that's fine, but she most probably will do check ups on me as well. Now, hospital people don't like high blood pressure, quick ish heart rate and quick, sometimes irregular breathing. I have them all, naturally. I  know about the breathing techniques, and in head I'm sorted how to keep calm, but that doesn't mean anything, does it?!
So as soon as my contractions start and first speak with the hospital I'll explain all the above, as well as write a note about these and stick it next to my birthing plan. Will make sure Lee will talk to them about this as well, when we go in. With all this I should be fine, after all they're going to see that I'm prepared and not just screaming bullshit out of nowhere when going in on pain at the late stage of my labour.
Lee said I shouldn't say and jinx it, but I do believe it's all going to go smooth. Hopefully I'll be going into labour not long after waking from a good night sleep (Less of the moodiness. I can handle pain, but not tiredness.), have a 'chilled out' good few hours at home with Lee, with my oils, on the birthing ball and under the shower, and will be having our daughter quick ish, within a couple of hours in the hospital, free of complications. This is how I planned and this is how it's going to be.
I feel prepared and even Lee said, he feels ready for the baby to come.

Monday, 24 October 2011


It's school holiday, so that means one thing; Neighbour kid upstairs is running about all day on the wooden floor, not letting us sleep. Sigh.
Anyways, at least we got out of the flat, walked all the way to Lou's, helped her doing some shopping and was chilling at hers for a bit.
Haven't seen my nephew Alfie for ages! He looks much happier since he had his operation. He also seems to be remembering me, and knowing who I am, finally. Didn't even cry on me but gave me flirty little giggles.
He is definitely a boobie man, I had him on my lap and he went straight for them, doing the 'Honk honk!' and pulling my top off, giving me cheeky grins! Swear Lee got a bit jealous haha!

We got a couple of baby seats too, both can be used as car seats, so that's sorted as well. Also, they will come handy when we want to put her down a little, I mean it's better for her to sit and rock away in one of them, instead of laying in the travel cot, staring at the ceiling.


Just hit me the other night that I haven't even had a proper look into the nationality question. For some reason I thought our baby would automatically be registered both as British and Hungarian. Well...
Since Lee is British and she'll born here, I assume she's going to class as British, straight away?! I very much hope so though, can't find many references, Google ain't my friend.
- So first of all have to have her birth certificate sorted in the Town Hall with official proofs (Hospital papers I reckon?!) of who she is. Hope it goes easy and quick, and won't have trouble of proving who her father is and shit like that. (I know Lou had problems with this and Alfie's last name, cause she was in hospital and couldn't sign the official papers.) I think the registration and what not is about £10-20 so can get away with this one.
- Then we have to apply for her British passport, which wouldn't yet be 100% necessary if we didn't want to travel back home within a few months or years. But we do. So that's another £50 which is O.K. but apparently a full British birth certificate doesn't always count as a proof, so they might need Lee's passport and/or certificate with a written proof of him being the father.
- To get her Hungarian nationality we need to sort out a Hungarian birth certificate for her, which takes about 3 months. The translation and checks which needs to be done on the original costs about £65.
- She's only able to get a Hungarian passport if she has a Hungarian birth certificate, and the passport costs about £40.
It's all a massive madness, lots of running about and paper work, ridiculous! Not to mention that most institutes (For example when we apply for benefits straight after her birth, for a passport, the council, the embassy and so.) doesn't approve a copy of her birth certificate, but only the original document to be sent by post... Now what if it got lost?! Is she not going to exist until I pay hundreds to get a copy (!) of the original from the Town Hall?! Jokes.
Thought it'd be something like going to the Town Hall with the hospital papers, Lee's and my ID, and that's that, she has a joint nationality. So naive.
Anyways, what I'm going to do is register her as British, get her passport sorted and within time I get her Hungarian certificate done too. From then on we might as well apply for Hungarian passports and IDs for her if we could. Not cause it's cool or would really matter, but cause it's cheaper, if I'm right.
To be perfectly honest, I wouldn't even care about her nationality, I mean just think about it... I'm here for years now, not very much bonded with my country and actually curse myself for not sorting my Home Office papers out cause if I did I could already have applied for becoming a British citizen.
I mainly want to do this for her. I don't want to be the reason of not giving her a chance if she wanted to go and fuck off to Hungary for a while or for good.

Sunday, 23 October 2011


Halloween is coming!
Done bit of a face paint rehearsal yesterday, and today me and Lee done our first ever pumpkin in our lives! Obviously it has a cheeky baby face, and had to add a cheap dummy too!
Now we can say for sure, we both are absolutely ready for parenthood and all it's tricks. Mummy is responsible for face paints, daddy is responsible for the pumpkins. Simples.

Saturday, 22 October 2011


Since I had trouble falling asleep on the sofa last night, and kitty was all over me again, craving cuddles, I did a little research on the how and whys on animal's behaviour around pregnant people.
Turns out I was right, they do sense that their owner is pregnant, well, mainly the changes in their mood caused by the hormones and of course changes in the movements cause of the weight gain.
Apparently it's more obvious with dogs, they not just become more careful around you, like not doing the silly jumping thing on you and so, but become more protective as well. I can't obviously know this cause we don't yet have a dog, but sooner or later...
About cats, they usually just become friendlier and following you around. Which happens with PuddyKat as well. When I'm with Lee, she usually just fucks off, does her own thing, but when alone, comes and snuggles up to or next to me, lays on my side or by my feet (Never on the bump! Just stares at it.) and watches both the room and me, making sure I'm safe to go asleep. Aww, wish she stayed like this after too.
I reckon her behaviour would've been more conspicuous if she was an older cat or we got her earlier, before I got pregnant.


We officially can't sleep together with Lee anymore.
I'm getting too big, and love my space anyway, and he's either snoring or can't sleep and fidgets, waking my light sleeper bum up.
Yesterday it was his turn on the sofa, after snoring in my ears for about half an hour or so, today it was mine since he was twisting and turning around awake too much and I got pissed off. Also, he's going to an airsoft war today, so I had to let him sleep in the bed. I'm a good girlfriend, I like to think haha!
Even though falling asleep on the sofa wasn't the easiest and took me about 2 hours, and only snoozed for about 5 hours, I have to tell, I had the sleep of my lifetime. Slept better down here than upstairs in the bed lately. (Shouldn't really mention it out loud though, otherwise Lee will take advantage on it, hah!)

And this dream! I was on our sofa at the first stage of my labour with my nan next to me whom had to go to work around past 02pm, just when I managed to figure a way with my oils and a squatting weird position to make my contractions stronger. Since I knew now how to control them (Inhaling oils made me push, otherwise I was calm and cool as a cucumber.) I told her to go, while I was waiting for Lee to arrive.
Change of scene; I was in a birthing pool in the middle of a double decker, where usually the prams are, surrounded by my friends. Kept trying to hold the baby in but by then she really wanted to pop out. Lucky that Lee arrived this point, I made all my mates to get off of the bus so it was only the two of us and that's that, I woke up. And again, the labour bit and pushing pains weren't at all bad, more likely just a little uncomfortable and exciting.
I'm thinking and reading of giving birth lately pretty much every night before bed, so this must be the reason behind it. Not complaining though, especially not after a good dream like this.
I'm way too excited, and can't wait to go in to labour finally!

Wednesday, 19 October 2011


We had a nice baby chat this morning when Lee got in from work. I like these little talks and planning with him, good to know that he's just as excited as I am, and we are mostly on the same opinion. About pretty much everything, but especially when it comes to our daughter.
I for example mentioned of reading about how unhealthy is carrying the baby outwards.
It apparently fucks her spine up, having too much pressure (All her weight basically.) on her bum and down bits, and of course she wouldn't be able to snuggle up to us if she got scared by a noise or a view. Until reading the above, wasn't quite sure the Manduca we got was a right choice, cause it's only for carrying the baby inwards (Least it holds her in the right M shape aka frog position.), but knowing these, I'm absolutely happy. At the beginning she probably will be sleeping most of times when we are out, on my front, between the gazoongas. Later on, when she gets heavier, I'm going to carry her on my back, and this will give her the opportunity to peek out from above my shoulders, but still giving her a chance to rest her head and fall asleep if she had enough of the world.
Lee said, he has a feeling that we won't really be using the pram, unless we are taking her out in the park, or for longer journeys, when going to see friends for example, so she can sleep in it's travel cot.
He actually said, he's looking forward of carrying her around, and that they are going to look bad ass together, haha! One sexy bloke, with one sexy baby girl attached to him. What else could I wish for?!
When I told him about sleeping with our girl and to spend as much time with her as I could, he told me about his friend's little one whom has ADHD (Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.) which basically means the kid is attention seeker. He said people's children who are likely just to leave them in the cot all day long, even when they're awake, grow to have ADHD.
People still tend to do it, cause have a -'Why to cuddle the bubba when she's not crying?' mentality. Now imagine the beginning of your life, just staring at the ceiling all day long, wanting to see something else and you can only achieve it/your pops to pick you up if you started to cry. It's just wrong! I mean, why to have a baby, if you don't want to spend time with her?! (Post 29.)
Discussed, that probably even though if we were just to watch telly or sit around in the living room, will have the lady on or around us. We agreed on not wanting her next to us, but with us. And that's how it supposed to be.

I also want to be out with her as much as I can. Laura mentioned the idea of taking her to Winter Wonderland. Bang tidy! I haven't either been yet, so it's going to be a new experience for both of us. I would want to wait around 5-6 weeks after birth though, cause around this time is when babies start to be able to see things, not just a big mess of colors. Even though she'll be tiny, I know she'd enjoy it, the smells, the excitement and the entire Christmas vibe.
That doesn't mean I don't want to go out with her in the first weeks; I probably will take her to the shop with me, or over the park, just to do little introduction journeys to the outside world.
Oh, this made me remember what I read the other day about newborns...
I have a feeling that our girl is going to have blonde hair, but regardless what colour she's born with, it can change within the years. So as her eye colour! Apparently most babies born with blue eyes, which usually changes in the first 6 weeks. Lee said it probably has something to do with pigmentation and that babies are basically in the pitch dark for 9 months, so they and their systems need to get used to the daylight, it's effects and what not.
So true, still it's something I didn't really think about before. Either way, Lileeva will have nice big blue eyes, just as her mummy and daddy.


Finally been discharged from the hospital! For a while, from it's antenatal clinic...
No more seeing horrible obstetricians after today though! She measured my belly and checked her heart and said all is fine, so only a thyroid test to be done on her after the birth, but that's a different department's job.
The heart check was a bit freaky this time, cause she couldn't hear it at first, she tried to listen with two different machines and at the end had to get the tiny monitor scan thing to have a look at it. My little girl was back to back that's why we couldn't hear it, but was clearly visible that her little drum was beating, so I calmed down.
She didn't order an induction but agreed on going into labour naturally, and told me even though my lazy pea is head down, she isn't yet engaged. I kind of knew that already, cause she's pushing my lungs big times and I don't feel those sharp ish pains down there lately, but I've written about these already.
The thyroid doctor said to continue my dose of medication after birth too, and go back in 8 weeks time, to see what's going on in my system, after the lady is out. Luckily it's on a different, endocrinology part of the hospital not on the antenatal anymore, so no more crazy screaming kids to be listened to. Yay!

I've been thinking and reading about sleeping in the same bed with the baby lately. And basically, about sleeping habits of mums and babies.
A note of pride; The past two nights I slept without my earplugs, only put them in around 08am. That's when the upstairs neighbours wake up and start to walk about, banging their elephant bodies to the floor with each step. Anyways...
We obviously have a Moses basket, right next to my side of the bed, but I still have decided to make Lileeva sleep in the bed with me, if she wanted to. I don't really want her to get too used to sleeping with us, and knowing that both me and Lee are starfishes when it comes to sleep (Meaning; The double bed is small for us. No lies.) I'm only going to have her next to me 4 nights a week, when Lee is at work. He usually gets home around 08am, and have a feeling we'll be awake by then anyway, so it should be alright. Even if not, I'm sure daddy will find a way to snuggle up next to us.
The rest of the nights I'm going to put her in the cot, which is going to be next to me, so can look at her and touch her whenever she needs me.
People and midwives say the baby shouldn't sleep in the same bed with it's parents, since they can roll over and suffocate her... Bullshit much?!
Here are the benefits:
- Parents (Especially mums.) have a special bond with their babies, so not just impossible that they don't wake up when roll over 'onto' their bubbas (Which pretty much never happens.) but they usually wake up during the night a few seconds before their babies do.
- Babies wake up throughout the night cause they are either hungry or scared/uncomfortable. They usually don't start to cry straight away, just reach out to feel the mum and/or the boobie, pretty much the only things they know and are comfortable with. These things make them calm down and fall back asleep straight away. They mostly start to cry if they woke up in the cot, lonely in the dark, scared, wanting the parents attention. You can't blame them, can you?!
- In their first year apparently their little brain don't realise how big the world is around them either, so for them only that exist what they see and feel around them. I'd be screwed if all I saw all the time was the white ceiling... This can cause ADD as well, but that's another story.
- All the above means, even though the baby wakes up at stupid o'clock, wanting boobie, the mum most likely to be awake a minute or two earlier anyway, so can help the baby onto the jug and both of them can fall back asleep after the baby has finished yumming away, or even during! This let's mama rest properly, which can't happen when she's woken up and jumped out of the bed by loud crying. Then so have to go and get the baby from a different room, feed her and make her fall back asleep... This progress takes ages and while it's done, the mum wakes up properly, so no surprise she turns into a zombie daytimes.
- Also, after 9 months of closeness and physical support, apparently babies' systems and organs need about 6 months to start and work properly by themselves. Makes sense really. That's why some newborns 'just die' when asleep; They forget to breathe, and since their systems don't work like ours, don't know how to 'restart'. As weird as it may sound, sleeping next to the parents and hearing them breathe, make babies breathe too... Kind of like an unconscious support, they need.
- It also makes them calmer, and better sleepers in future, they don't think of going to bed as a bad or scary experience, like it happens with other people. I was clearly a cot baby, waking up all the time and not being able to sleep in the dark cause being scared of the shadows. (I'm almost 25, and not afraid to admit it. Then what?!)
Nature again, and it's beautiful ways. Pretty fucking awesome I think.

Tuesday, 18 October 2011


Yes, I sorted every bits of baby stuffs out. And I do mean everything.
Again; She has so many clothes! Me and Lee are sharing two corners together, for let's say 3 years worth of clothes each. She has her own two corners, for only 3 months of clothes haha!
But I'm done, and finally everything seems to be on it's 'right' place. Upstairs there are her little grows and rompers and a couple of bibs next to the Moses basket. These pretty much take over all the place, so all her 'going out' outfits (Like skirts, tees, jeans, socks and hats.) are downstairs with the bibs and most of the baby blankets, after all this is going to be the place we're spending most of our times. Also sorted a space for changing, and the bottles and sterilizer. Not sure I'll be using them though, I mainly plan to breastfeed.
It all sounds pretty easy, but isn't really... Have to think like she was already here and what where would come the handiest. Pretty mindfucking really, especially cause I still don't feel she's ready to come.
On another note; I've been out and about today, walking quite a lot.
Went to the hospital first, to get my blood taken, then to do some shopping.
Bought a couple of oils first of all, only jasmine and rose though, cause the rest smelt like hell. Bit disappointed though, they didn't have neroli which I was looking forward too smell wise... Imagined orangey?!
Then went to do the Christmas shopping for Lee. I know it's ridiculously early but my due date is getting closer and wanted to get over with it, before the bubba gets here. Not quite sure I would want to do mad shopping trips with my newborn in December's peek time. Alone, as well, cause Lee wouldn't be able to come with me, would he?! Hah, so smart!
Anyways, it didn't turn out as good as I hoped it would. Simply seems like whatever he wanted is not on sale... Anywhere! So after 4 hours of traveling and walking about I came home and ordered everything online. I did make the effort though.
I also have plans of going for a little walk over the park with Laura tomorrow, then the hospital trip on Wednesday gets me out of the house too.
Trying to keep myself busy and mobile until I can. As well as sick of not being able to sleep til late so just sitting around bored in the flat all day, when the weather is finally nice and cold.

Oh, that's another thing! I made it hard for myself, massive issue; I became addicted to sleeping with earplugs. Even though it's quiet, I can't fall asleep without them, which I will suffer when our girl is here. I mean, I do wake up for pretty much everything even though I have them in, I still don't trust in myself. I know I'll be awake pretty much all the time, regardless our baby is asleep cause I'll be too worried, so if I do pass out I don't want to have earplugs in, in case I wouldn't wake up for her crying or something.
Still have a few weeks to work on the freestyle free-ear sleep, but so far no luck.
By the way raspberry leaf tea seems to be working, maybe? Every time I have a cup I feel bit of a period pain thing going on, just further up, in my 'belly' where the contractions will appear. Hmm, let's wait and see what is this all about.

Sunday, 16 October 2011


We got another couple of bags, full of baby clothes. I've been trying to sort and fit them to the 'baby corner' but it's impossible.
We are running out of space, we have too much stuff for her to be worn in the first 3 months and none for after, we have a drawer of premature gear which I'm not sure whether to bag and put aside (Hello week 37.) or just leave in case she turns out to be tiny. Lee doesn't really help either, why would he?! He doesn't even fold and put his own clothes away...
I got pissed off way too easy with the situation, which gave me a massive headache, so it's time for bed I reckon. It's one of those things, which you feel inappropriate to take out on or to even mention to others, but bugs you to hell, so rather just walk away from everyone and curl up on your own, with your huffs and puffs.
Maybe tomorrow. Yeah, tomorrow I'll get them sorted somehow. (Hah, course I will.)

Saturday, 15 October 2011


I'm feeling like an angry little dragon. This heartburn is getting ridiculous, simply drinking water boosts my acid on some enormous levels. Not to mention some of the foods; I had a tiny (Ehrm...) slice of lemon cake this morning and couldn't even have half a cup of my tea after, cause I was spitting fire... Instead I'm having my second glass of milk. Not fun.
O.K. I probably should be more careful of what I'm eating, but I've never been too worried about crazy cravings, after all my body and system knows what it's lacking off, right?! That's what it is all about; The baby takes so much of certain vitamins or as it happens sugar, that I need to increase the intake. Simples. Now how am I suppose to do it, if everything I ate leaves me in agony?! Moan.

Been sorting my music for labour. It's harder than I thought! Don't want anything too fast, nor too slow, so I went on selecting house, minimal tech and progressive psy mixes. These still are pumping a little, but can be listened as background music, just as be focused on and to get lost in if I wanted to.
Just to make it even harder, I know of myself and that I won't be bearing high pitch in music (It does sometimes annoy me yes, I'm a bass girl.) so it doesn't leave me with many choices. Of course I have to be prepared what if I changed my mind and rather listened to chill or ambient music. So those shall be on the list too. Decisions!

Been looking into how to use essential oils during labour as well. Not quite sure about the method yet though.
The easiest way is to put a few drops on a tissue which can be thrown away if not anymore needed or if I got annoyed by the smell.
Also can be used as massage oils, a few drops to be mixed with a base oil; Which I assume can be fragrance free baby oil too? These articles only mention almond oil as base for some reason.
And of course the burner, which I don't have and wouldn't even be able to use in the hospital (Cause of the tealight.)
- Clary Sage: Relieves tension, brings on labour, helps with expelling afterbirth. Also known as the 'natural gas-and-air'.
- Geranium Rose: Enhances circulation and is good for labour management techniques which focus on breathing .
- Jasmine: Dulls uterine pain, strengthens contractions, promotes birth and increases milk supply. Excellent when mixed with lavender and a carrier oil of Evening Primrose and Vitamin E for perinial and cervical massage.
- Lavender: Dulls and eases uterine pain but also increases the strength of contractions while calming the mother. Great for reducing stretch marks.
- Myrrh: Speeds labor, opens cervix.
- Neroli: Reduces fear, tension, insomnia, apprehension and anxiety.
- Rose: Cleansing effect on the uterus, antidepressant, softens ligaments; Easier to open pelvis to push for larger babies and smaller mamas.
- Chamomile: Proven to reduce the need for anaesthesia.
- Ylang Ylang: Reduces anxiety, shooting and calming. Helps lower the blood pressure.
- Geranium: Great for the circulation and helps breathing. It helps to balance the mind and emotions, while stimulating the adrenal cortex and balancing the hormonal system. Also known for its healing effects on the skin.
I most probably going to go and smell them all, see which ones I prefer, and will be choosing those I'm able to use after labour too.
As of labour; Since I will spend the beginning at home with Lee, I'll mix some and ask him to massage me (Here's a little information how to. Hint hint.) and will bring a little bowl to the hospital to mix them there with boiling water, cause not sure if they'd let me to put the drops in the pool.


Lee called me an 8 months pregnant last night! Ouch!
Not to talk down on him though, I was proper confused about weeks and months too, before looking up on it. I think it's something mankind always will argue about, depends whether you are counting the days as calendar weeks and months, or true lunar months.
After all, baby's going to come whenever she's ready, right?!

Weeks 1 - 4 5 - 8 9 - 13 14 - 17 18 - 21 22 - 26 27 - 30 31 - 35 36 - 40
are you in?
You are
in your
You are
in your
You are
in your
You are
in your
You are
in your
You are
in your
You are
in your
You are
in your
You are
in your
This is
one two three four five six seven eight nine
Trimester first second third

'9 months or 10. Confusion starts here.
Although it may be confusing at first, health care providers begin counting the pregnancy from day one of the last known menstrual period. Yes, that is about 14-16 days before you even conceived. There is often confusion when some try to convert weeks into months and count a month as 4 weeks. February is the only month with just 4 weeks. The average calendar month is 30.4 days, a little over 4 weeks and 2 days long. A normal pregnancy is 40 weeks, or a little longer than nine average months.'
'Timeline breakdowns for pregnancy:
- Days: 280 days from your LMP (Gestational) or 266 days from conception to birth (Fetal age).
- Weeks: 40 weeks from the start of your LMP (Gestational). 38 weeks from conception to birth (Fetal age). Most doctors count pregnancy weeks from LMP (Gestational), a few others may count from conception to birth (Fetal age); And the week numbers may vary.
Example: Week 28 (Gestational) = Week 26 (Fetal age)
One thing to note is: Four weeks from the first day of your last period you are considered "4 weeks pregnant", but "in week 5 of pregnancy". This can get confusing, especially considering that your baby is actually, only about two weeks old.
- Months (Calendar): Measured as nine months on the calendar + extra 7 days for due date. According to the Gregorian calendar, where months range from 28-31 days, this means the average pregnancy lasts a little over nine months.
Note: Always count the full months from the first day of your last period, like you would count the number of years in your age ie. in your first year you were 0, in your second year you were 1 year old, etc. eg. LMP = January 1st ~ on February 1st you are 1 month pregnant, on March 1st you are 2 months pregnant etc.'
'Most health care providers will actually talk about your pregnancy in weeks, rather than months or trimesters. Nevertheless, some health care providers and pregnant women talk about the three trimesters to help give the pregnancy a time-scale; Related closely to the important stages of fetal development, and also a beginningmiddle,  and end.
- Beginning: In the first trimester the embryo undergoes most of its early structural development. Most miscarriages occur during this period, the placenta will take over hormone production around week 12 from the corpus luteum. Sometimes, the failure of the corpus luteum to adequately support the pregnancy with progesterone can result in an early pregnancy loss.
- Middle: In the second trimester the embryo, now known as a fetus, is recognisable as human in form, but is not developed enough to be viable if born. The first three months were a period of rapid development, the middle three months are a period of rapid growth.
- End: In the third trimester the fetus reaches viability, and may survive if born prematurely.'

Thursday, 13 October 2011


I've re-read my entire blog in the past days.
It was good for pulling it together a little, both language and outlook wise. Also, since I'm having a serious baby brain syndrome lately, I wanted to check whether or not I posted about the same thing twice, and so. I'm doing O.K. so far.
It's weird though, how much I've changed throughout the months, with the breaking point of around 20 weeks in my pregnancy. I think this is where I unconsciously but clearly started to bond with the baby, when my hormones started to kick in, and with these the attitude of my blog has changed too. It all became real, even though it's still yet unreal. Does it make sense?!
Reading it from the beginning made me realise how naive and unknowing I was about everything including pregnancy, babies and everything else they involve, like benefits, housing and so. I was absolutely lost and clueless (Post 58.), and can only hope, if any of my friends will be in the same situation in the future, and in need of help, they will find it here among my posts.
I find myself well informed by now, and happy, cause I know it's something, no one can take away from me. All in all, I'm proud of maturing in the past months as much as I did, and becoming a responsible adult (And hopefully a good mother figure?!) who's willing to do everything for her family, instead of the party girl I was, not long ago.

This doesn't mean I wouldn't anymore want to go out, it's just that the priority has changed.
In fact, during the summer with all my friends being on at least on one open-air psychedelic festival, that's when I felt how much I miss going out. More likely cause of the atmosphere, rather than getting absolutely mash up like a pear. I miss dancing under the burning sun, miss seeing random people smiling at each other with world peace in their eyes, miss getting lost among the tents in pitch black, cause of not having a torch, and even miss not being able to sleep cause of the loud music and bugs.
Obviously not planning on hitting up a festival next summer straight away, well, definitely not a week, or more than a day long one, anyway. Don't think I could and wanted to stay away from my baby girl for that long.
And, who knows, in a few years time I might even be taking her with me for one of these colourful hippie parties.

Tuesday, 11 October 2011


I've been reading a Hungarian article about birth giving, in the view of being in a different state of mind in labour. Surprise, surprise.
Wouldn't say I didn't already know about it, just haven't yet done a research or seen written about it anywhere.
It talks about how important for women to be in an ideal environment during labour, and how intimate and private this process is for them. Most of them resemble this experience as making love, and let's be honest,- apart from a few extreme exceptions- neither of us would like to have sex in public and/or in front of unknowns. Studies showed, if they were in a place and/or among people they didn't feel comfortable, around couldn't just slow but could either stop their labour.
On the other hand, being in the individual ideal surrounding could not just make labour easier, less stressful but less painful too! Women need to feel absolutely safe, which helps them to relax and to focus 'inside' instead of the outside world. It apparently gives a rhythm to the actual birth giving, and makes women bear the pain easier, and even to relax and rest a little in between each contraction. Also, not just mums but dads found the bonding easier, with babies born this way.

Since everyone is different we can't really speak in generalities, so I speak about what do I think would be the best for me.
Luckily I learnt about myself that I can 'switch off' if it comes to pain. Not 100% of course, but I kind of know where to go in my head, and I'll take advantage on this when in labour. Weird, cause at the same time I can not meditate...
I told my mum straight away that I don't want her around on the big day, which is harsh I know, but I somehow felt she'd just disturb me. Even though I didn't really think about how important it is who's with me when I'm actually giving birth, it all makes sense now. It must have something to do with not at all thinking of and planning my labour, apart from the monthly fights with the doctors. Then again, that's the material part of it.
Started to be unsure about having a midwife in the same room when it's all going down, as well. I know it's necessary, and they've seen it all, I still dare the thought of having someone around I don't know or might won't like.
I would want to be in a paddling pool in our -then even smaller and friendly looking- living room, with only our little decor lamps and candles on, bang on the incense, and some minimal music to keep me pumped, but not to be too disturbing with it's highs and lows. Having Lee next to me and the midwife behind me, or somewhere I don't see and can easily forget about her.
Instead I'll be in the birthing center... Which is still better than a noisy ward, but...
But it's a massive, plastic, cold looking, white and blue room, way too hot temperature wise, has the computer in the corner, which the midwife will be typing away on, can't listen to music unless with earphones which I wouldn't want, and can forget about the incense which is the most calming add on for me. Not to mention all they've got, are white office lights on the ceiling. So much for ideal.
Anyways, I'll still try my best to run away from the outside world, and can only hope I won't be disturbed. And when I finally open my eyes after looking at Lee, I can look into my daughters big blue eyes straight away.

Tuesday, 11 October 2011 11:54
We agreed with Lee to call the hospital to find out details about the how and whys. Luckily I ended up speaking with a really nice and helpful midwife, who told me not to worry, they do have little lights but if I wanted I could even bring my own, just in case. They don't do candles and incenses but can bring essential oils, which I don't really use but will have a look into it. And music! Can listen to music out loud without earphones. She also said it's better if I brought my own towels and pillows for my own comfort, so might as well bring one of my big orange throws too, to make the room look warmer.
She also explained that since it's my first baby it could take quite some time til she pops her head out, so she recommends to just stay in touch with them on the phone, instead of going straight in.
That was my plan anyway. Yay, can't wait!

Monday, 10 October 2011


Another crazy dream!
I still have trouble sleeping (I shouldn't even mention this every time, should I?!) and last night I must've been somewhere on the balk of dream land and reality, and had two of those funny, but morbid ones.
Dream 1.
It was about kitty, who was my baby at the same time and whom I had to take to the vet. She is an indoor cat, but I want to give her more freedom so I've been thinking of getting a leash for her... But then again, the fleas and bugs. So in the dream I got Puddy dressed in one of the Minnie Mouse outfits Lou bought for our daughter, and noticed when pulled the little shoes on her back paws, that kitty had human baby feet! Anyways, I took her out to the vet on a leash and that's about it.
Dream 2.
This was a bit more twisted. I think our girl was having a rave while I was away with the fairies, cause my dream was about her, getting in breech and visibly stretching both her arms and legs. It hurt in my dream so must've hurt physically too. We were talking to her as well, told her to get into position, so I can push her out, but she was just giggling away, being cheeky and not giving a damn about us. We first just saw her little feet pressed to my belly, then she pushed them against me harder, and they popped out on my right side! One leg under my boob, one lower, around my hip! It didn't hurt or anything, just looked weird. Especially cause she had long toes and toe nails.
Again, I keep having these dreams about birth, and ripping my body in pieces, and so far neither of came with pain. I take it as a sign.
Had a look in the big dream book and here are the meanings:
- Cat: Jealousy and/or being madly in love
- Baby/child: Good luck
- Little feet: Friendship
Should really have used it before too. Simply didn't think about it until recently, when Lee started to have crazy dreams too. His are mainly bad, and usually make him wake up with a little sad face, but surprisingly the meaning behind them are positive too, like good luck, happiness, happy family life an so.
So there's nothing to worry about.

Here just a quick note about that I'm in my 9th month, and my nesting period still hasn't yet started. I know Lee says (Which I'm well proud of!) so far I've been a good pregnant, no typical mood swings and huff, all in all not really acting -or even looking- like a stereotype preggers, but what's with no nesting?!
I had a little go at him last night for not doing much around the house, which somewhere understandable, cause he's the one going to work, when I'm spending my days at home, but that doesn't mean I have to be the one who tidies after him, when he keeps leaving everything around. Little things, like Xbox controllers everywhere, or throwing stuffs at kitty and not picking them up from the floor. The ground and gravity are clearly my enemies nowadays anyway, you get the point. But we sorted it, so it's all fine.
I'm talking about hardcore nesting, like scrubbing walls, washing windows, polishing mirrors and so. All I've done was washing all the baby clothes we bought new, or got from friends, cause baby skin can be really sensitive. Might do the same with the washable nappy insides, apparently that'd make them work better as well?!
So no special cleaning madness. I can only hope it's not a sign of me being far far away from labour.

Only nesting aptitude I have, is to sort this blog out from the very beginning, but that's about it.


I had my shopping on today.
Spent pity amount of money and robbed Stratford's 99p store. Have a feeling it's going to become my local, many bargain goods I haven't anywhere seen before. The imported gear, clearly. The herbal teas are from Holland & Barrett.
- Jalapeno tortilla (For fajitas.)
- Mexican spicy rice
- Mild korma sauces
- Mild seasoning for meat
- Garlic-chilli spice mix
- HP slightly chilli sauce
- Chilli ketchup (For my hot dogs.)
- Spicy reggae relish sauce
- Tinned pineapples (Which just read about, is absolutely useless and should've gone for fresh ones. Well done me.)
- Raspberry leaf tea
- Nettle tea (For after birth, to get my system cleaned quicker.)
- Cocoa butter (For them stretch marks.)
- Hand sterilizers (Those little gels can be used on the go without water.)
As one can see I'm taking it seriously. Typing these words from above a cup of raspberry leaf tea, hah! Not too bad I have to admit, planning on having 1-2 cups a day. Even though the daily intake in the third trimester should be around 4-5 cups, there is no chance I can force myself to drink that amount of tea.
I had a hot dog sandwich this morning with reggae relish sauce, it went down O.K., but I reckon my daughter doesn't either appreciate hot stuffs. It didn't give me heartburn, or made me run straight to the loo, just left us with a funny feeling.
Then after the shopping I made some spicy fajitas. Spicy seasoning on chicken, spicy tortilla, spicy rice, spicy sauce. So far nothing. Will keep trying the following days, but if it doesn't do nothing, just leaves my stomach with an uncomfortable feeling I'll give up on it, and let Lee to destroy all the hot food.
Will bang on some pineapple too a bit later.
(Well... Just between us, I feel a little a guilty about trying to 'force' her out. I hope she will come whenever she's ready -hopefully on 11/11/11 giggidy giggidy- and the tea and pineapple are just helping to make the big bang easier for both of us.)

Surprising though (Unfortunately not really.) how much of a dickheads people are! I know my bump isn't the biggest of all times but is still noticeable, and of course no one would ever give their seats on public transport. Whatever, got used to it. Although my friend Molek walked up to some fella straight away on the full overground last night, pointing out I'm pregnant, and he's sitting on the priority seats. It's still something I wouldn't do. I mean, what world we are living at where the pregnant woman has to ask for a seat?! Not to mention I'd be too shy and embarrassed to do so.
Also, today, carrying two massive and heavy plastic bags when walking in to Sainsbury's, thought I ask the woman at the kiosk, if I was able to leave them there for a few minutes, til I picked up a few remaining bits and bobs. She said -'No', so I had to explain to her that I do understand their policy, and I wouldn't even ask the favour if I wasn't 9 months pregnant...
Then on the way back to the overground, no one gave a shit about me, walking now with three heavy carrier bags close to the wall (Yes, I know I'm slow, that's why I try to be out of the way, damn it!), in fact one of these pushy pervert gypsy pricks walked straight into my hand! I do hope I managed to crack his balls, he doesn't deserve to have them.
Obviously one of the cheap bags has ripped under the weight, but luckily there were a couple of nice people behind me on the station, and they picked up my stuffs.
I think the worst thing still is, when people give me dirty looks, when I push them out of the way. Oh well, might be my karma.
On a happier note; I bought a longer nipple bar. What a relief, seriously! It's like having the too tight pants taken off and changed into loose ones.
And now to try the impossible; Painful ingrown toe nail which not sure how am I going to reach?!

Sunday, 9 October 2011


So week 36 aka less than a month; Only 4 weeks to go.
Baby is still gaining but she's very close to her birth size, and weight already. Apparently she's about 2.7 kg ~ 5.9 lbs and 47 cm ~ 18.5 inch. I do know for a fact that she's still gaining; I started to get stretch marks! About time. They aren't too bad, and a pregnancy ain't a real pregnancy without them, I still started to take vitamin E. However, I'm not too worried, I'm a quick healer and I know for a fact they'll whiten out pretty easy. By the way vitamin E softens the skin (Inside and out.) and apparently benefits the birth giving as well, in a view of making stretching easier down below too.
I -still- supposed to feel her dropping down, which I didn't really lately. I do feel big drops every now and then, which are quite intense but rare. Although I do feel them sometimes when I'm sitting too, not just when walking, don't think it's the process of the engagement yet.
Just like I don't feel she'd be ready to come out yet, even though everyone knows it could happen any minute now. She would still class as a premature bubba, if she decided to pop her head out this week, but from then on she's officially a full-term baby.
Leakage of the boobies are normal from now on as well. Luckily for me it ain't -yet- too bad, I possibly wouldn't even have noticed it, if I didn't have to change my nipple bar back to the smaller one, and I wouldn't keep checking on and touching it. I'm only seeing the trickle on that one, probably because the holes of the piercing could (And does.) increase the flow. (Post 49.)
Wouldn't be nice if the bar grew in though, so I'll be just going to buy a longer bar tomorrow.
Also, will stock up on some natural labour inducing stuffs as well.
Since I eat lots of fruits anyways, I'll include pineapple to my daily intake, which supposed to help soften the cervix in big dose. I reckon it still would do the job in small doses used for longer?!
Will buy spices and cook hot foods, which I'm not a big fan of, but for this reason I think they'd work. Lee likes them anyway, so at least if not for other, I can make him happy with the menu in the next weeks.
Not sure about raspberry leaf tea, I simply don't like teas but this can be helpful as it tones the uterus. Helps in stretching, as well as tightens it if drank after birth giving. Not to mention healthier than the fizzy and fake crap I normally drink.
Neither of the above are actually inducing the labour, more likely helping the body to get ready for it. Some say they aren't even effective, but I rather give these a try than any other, stronger or chemical gears in the future. Maybe the inducing cream, which they offer in the hospital, after the 40th week. Maybe.
Gotta start to bang on my remaining iron tablets soon, which I stopped taking, cause of the constipation (Answer to that is prune juice!), but is necessary in the view of the big blood loss during labour. Wouldn't want to suffer, and feel extra crap in the next few days, after the vampire's arrival, would you?!
Will try and do little daily walks too, even though I'm way too lazy, it's necessary to get the lady in position. If not else, will be just bouncing on my super ball.
Wow. Becoming more and more hippie like with all these healthy and natural remedies! This baby does make me change my ways, for the best.


Our girl clearly has a stage fright!
First I thought she was all calm and entertained when I was out and about, and that's why she didn't really move around until I got home and sat down. But no! She's been moving around a lot lately when I'm alone, and having not much space inside it's clearly visible, but when I turn the camera on my phone (Which only takes a second really.) to try and catch her in action, she stops. Then like she knows, when I put my phone down she's on a mission again.
Same when I'm at my friends'. It was Tünde's leaving do last night, and most of my mates were there whom I haven't seen for quite some time. Obviously they all wanted to have a little peek and feel, but she was silent, even though I was pretty much sitting on my arse all night. Until I got home and sat on my own! And it's not like I wouldn't feel her moving when I'm anywhere else but home, it'd be hard not to feel, trust me.
I'm pretty sure we are having a cheeky, but utterly shy baby here. Not surprised though, both her mummy and daddy are generally shy.

Also, since Tünde is moving to New Zealand for good, she got rid off lots of her bits and bobs from the flat, things she won't be wanting to put on a ship and send to herself, and her flatmates also don't need.
Those kind of stuffs which will come absolutely useful when we are having our own home, but wouldn't probably think to buy or spend money on them. Those stuffs, which we can't yet use and are in the way basically, but will come handy once. So I bought these off of her for pity money and well happy about them!
- Hand mixer and a little scale (Both for making cakes. Mmm!)
- Couple of bowls and mugs (Good start until we buy a set of plates.)
- Colourful cushions
- Colourful rug
- Few baskets (Little ones for fruits and a massive to be used as our lady's laundry basket perhaps.)
- Two little decor lamps
- Massive IKEA shelf (The one you can use just as it is, or buy colorful boxes to fit on each shelf, and use it for baby clothes maybe.)
These add up to what we already have:
- Bed
- Little tables
- Telly and Xbox
- Cooker
- Dining table with chairs
- Wardrobe and a couple of shelf units
- Hoover
- Microwave
- Pans
- Cuttlery set
- Iron
- Set of glasses
I think that's it. Was talking about this earlier (Post 26.), but rather have them collected together in an entry. So all in all, we are ready to make a move, as soon as we find a flat.
Only a few other major bits, like a fridge, washing machine and a sofa, which I tend to get from Freecycle anyway, when the time comes. It's not just about the nature but if someone has something not needed which we do, why not pick it up and re-use it? For free as well.
And, as I said before, I'm not so keen on having an all beige livingroom anyway, but one with much life behind a mess of colors, so that's not an issue either. (Post 64.)
Speaking of; Fitting the shelf in the living room, and using the colourful pillows and my big throw, the room's atmosphere changed so much! Cosier and warmer, I actually like just sitting around here, finally.

Thursday, 6 October 2011


I know I've been writing about council quite a lot already, but in this post I'll explain all the hows and whys, our situation and how I've been treated.

Getting on to the council's housing list is only easy on paper, but there is still a point in your life when you have to think about it. Mainly cause you can end up renting a 2 bedroom flat for let's say £300-400/month with them, or for about £600/month with Housing Association (They work in corporation with the council.) instead of £900-1,000+/month which you'd pay to a private landlord.
The process is to fill in an application form and provide all the necessary documents, for example IDs, proof of address, proof of income and many more.
Then they have to check all your documents in about 2 months, whether they are real or fake. When they accept them, your case is passed to an officer, the person who deals with you from then on.
When that's done, they get in touch with you and send a council visitor out, who checks the condition you are living in and why isn't it acceptable for you any longer.
Then the visitor puts all your information in the system, which the council has to check and make a decision about how important it must be for you to get things moving; They give you a banding between 1 and 5. This usually takes up to a month.
Band A - Emergency (When you have serious medical illness and/or have to be rehoused immediately cause you have a missing wall for example.)
Band B - Urgent (When you live in an overcrowded household and in need of 2 or more bedrooms, have urgent health needs, moving in to smaller homes, involved in domestic violence and so.)
Band C - Priority/Homeless (Single young people leaving sheltered accomodation or care.)
Band D - General (When you live in an overcrowded household but in need of only one extra bedroom and/or have less urgent health needs.)
Band E - Reserve (When you are applying to move here from a different borough.)
When it's all done, you get your personal bidding number with the above banding, and you can start to bid for 2 properties a week. The waiting time depends on how high your priority is, it can take from weeks to months to years.
When your bid is successful someone meets you to show you the property you've bid for, and if you liked it, you can take it, if not, can keep continue bidding until you find something more appropriate.
Here I would like to say, council places might be cheap but they are shitholes. The whole idea behind it is that you are able to save up some money and make the best out of it yourself. Housing Association flats are usually more expensive, but nicer too. Speaking in generality.
The average waiting time for properties:

Studio One Bed Two Bed Three Bed Four Bed + Total
 Band Wait in weeks Wait in weeks Wait in weeks Wait in weeks Wait in weeks No. of Applicants waiting
(Sept 09)
Number of Lettings
Emergency - 26 13 30 74 9 24
Urgent - 52 66 75 157 1070 671
Priority 51 80 130 180 275 1847 770
General 165 190 - - - 5280 188
Reserve - 138 - - - 7482 12
Lettings Total 15688 1665

So here you can see it takes quite some time. Now my story:
- I applied with the form and all the documents listed, on the 17th of May. After calling them for about 3 months and they were still unable to see my folder in their system, I went in to find out what's wrong. Turned out there were a few documents missing which they wouldn't have been able to tell me on the phone... Yeah right. Got that sorted immediately.
- Waited for another month or so just to find out whether or not I'm in the system, or even got accepted. Nothing.
I was hitting up the 4th month of waiting by then, even though it only supposed to take them 2 months to check up on me. I instead had to listen to their excuses about summer holiday and a massive back log. Like I cared.
Being 7 months pregnant, the clock was ticking, and they didn't even make the effort to have a look in my folder, therefor knowing nothing neither about my situation, neither about the fact I exist.
- On the 7th of September I sent my first official complaint against them. In the previous 4 months, I as well had to put up with all Lee's family and family friends being sarcastic about my application, since as the urban legend and all their experiences prove, applying as a single mum gives you more chance to get a place. Apparently.
I still rather stuck to my friend, Tünde's opinion, when she said it can be sorted legally, without any lies being said.
Quickly; There are 4 stages of complaints. Stage 1 to 3 take place in the actual institution on a higher level with each step. Stage 4 is a government matter when they order an official Gestapo next to you for free of charge, to investigate. He helps you and gets you a lawyer and an interpreter if needed if it's a matter of taking the institute to court.
- On the 30th of September I was ready to take my complaint to Stage 2, since I haven't heard from them in that 15 working days they supposed to respond. The complaint team have sent me a reply e-mail saying my letter must've been lost, cause they did send it out on the 9th of September. Yeah right.
The same day I got the unofficial (Meaning; Does not signed.) word document attached, with my unactivated bidding number, and the officer's name and number who deals with my application from then on.
When I called her, she said she already ordered a visitor to come out and check up on us, she can't do no more. I could. Got in touch with the visiting team immediately, and managed to have a visitor for Monday. Things finally seemed to be moving.
- 3rd of October, as her first family of the day and week, the visitor came. A 40-50 year odd African woman, highly unfriendly and unprofessional. The other thing was her English which was beyond hard to understand.
Anyways, she weren't asking much, weren't making many notes, instead fell asleep in our armchair (Snoring!) while waiting for Jackie (Lee's aunt, whom we're living with, and was at work at the time.) to call back.
She then tried to convince me to change my application to 'homeless' so they can put me, Lee and our baby to a hostel if Jackie really wanted us to leave after I gave birth. (It is a good option for those whom really do not have anywhere to go.) I refused to accept it, since we aren't homeless, we have money to pay a council flat's rent and, after all, I most probably already would have had a place to live by now (Technically speaking.) if the council didn't sit on my files quietly for an extra 2-3 months. She said she will transfer her assessment the same day, and if I'm lucky, I might be having my banding and bidding number activated in 2 weeks or a month time. But not to worry, I'll receive a letter about it anyway. Of course I will... If they make the effort to post it.
- Tuesday 4th of October, since the visitor wasn't making many notes the day before, my first thing was to call the council and ask whether she has put my information in the system, so the claim to get my bidding number activated is in progress. She did. Then I again requested to send me e-mails instead of post, but the receptionist couldn't guarantee that so I just left it as it is, thinking I'll be keep calling them anyways from now on, if I needed information.
Later that day I went to see Tünde, who said she reckons I better go in and request a copy of the visitor's assassment, since I have all the rights to see it. It's about me, and my future depends on it. If it didn't cover the truth, I still could request to send someone out again. Also, to ask them about a log book where they register all their incoming and outgoing post, and which all council should have.
- Yesterday 5th of October I started my day at theirs. And what a start of the day, fucking hell!
They didn't know about a mailing log book at the reception, and wanted to send me off somewhere else where they might be registered, so I decided to get over with the assessment madness first. The guys at the reception said the best is to call my officer, since she was the one, who's in my case from head to toe and sees all the little details I might need. She's in, second floor, but her phone was going through straight to voicemail, and I couldn't and wouldn't anyway wanted to walk in to her office without any permission.
I kept calling her from the hall, and when she finally picked it up, most probably had one of the most disturbing phone calls she had to deal with that morning. Can only thank to herself though. I'm not an attention seeker person, especially not in public, but damn, I was standing in the middle of the council's hall, shouting, crying, screaming and cursing on the phone.
First of all, she refused to see me, even though I was in the building.
Second, she said according to the report there is something wrong with my files, and I don't live where I say I do (I have written proof from her manager -as a reply for my complaint- that all my documents are valid, therefor my proof of address too.), she doesn't know what's what and won't even be knowing it for quite some time. (Weeks perhaps.)
Thirdly, technically, they do not have to share any information with me, not even a written assessment about me.
All the bitterness, hormones, stress and insomnia of 4 months have came out of me and landed on her. Listening to her annoying attitude and hearing her getting pissed off didn't help on neither of us, then she told me to call  her manager if I wanted. I said I will, and I'll be sitting in the hall until someone finally sees me face to face, and tells me what the fuck is going on.
The manager wasn't yet in (-'Do you want to leave a voicemail?') so I eventually squelched out to the fresh air with my snotty face, and continued flooding the pavement with my tears, absolutely hopeless. I felt with walking out I've given it up, and lost the battle. Wasn't nice.
Woke Lee up with my calls, he couldn't say much, just to go home, leave a voicemail to the manager, and to try and arrange a meeting with him.
Called Tünde too, she said to do the same, but to send an e-mail instead, cause that's written and at least I'll have a proof of directing all my questions to the right person and it has to be answered, otherwise I can take my complaint to Stage 2 immediately. She also said I'm doing the right thing not to re-apply as a 'homeless'; They are only offering this option, cause that's the easier way for them to deal with my case, and with that they could cover their mistake of neglecting me for months. Not to mention if I keep bugging them they will have enough eventually, and will sort me out, just so I leave them alone.
Peeled myself off of the bench, got on the bus, when my officer called, asking if I was still in the building, cause her manager has arrived. Told her I wasn't, she put me on hold for about a minute or two while she was talking to him, then came back in line and said I shall be receiving a letter (-'Don't you understand I don't receive your bloody letters?') on Thursday, if I didn't, I can go in on Friday to see her and she'll go through with me about the bidding policy, and I'll be able to bid for properties. From Friday. This week. From tomorrow, yes.
Now now... I'm guessing the manager is on some serious salary and scared of losing his job, which would probably happen if I sent my complaint above him. Lee says, he reckons the fella got laid and was in a good mood. Either way, so far so good.
Again, how absurd the entire situation is?! I went in just to have a look into my assessment, and I ended up getting almost 5 months worth of shit sorted in an hour. I know it's not entirely my victory, more likely the cracks in their working system, and the fact they probably have so much to hide from me, but as soon as from tomorrow it won't anymore be my problem, hopefully.
No letter today though, so I might be having another round the morning, but this time I'll be bringing Lee with me too to keep me calm. Also, mark my words, if they put us in a low band (Lower than Band B.) I will be complaining my ass off until I get a place, without warning, being patient, or wasting more tears on them.
All in all, I have to admit I'm very proud of myself. Even if it took another year to find the place for us (It won't be that long, I feel it.) I know I've done everything I could for it, I gave my hardest so far, and will put all my energy in that flat to make it ours.
I will have the perfect little home for my perfect little family.

'After all you put me through
You'd think I'd despise you
But in the end I wanna thank you
'Cause you made me that much stronger

'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do
I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you

'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter

Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter'

Saturday, 8 October 2011 11:38
We went in yesterday, got our bidding number activated on Band D - General, as applying and in need of a one bedroom flat, which we started to bid for immediately. Mainly just to have a bidding record in their system. (By law, every person in the household has to have their own room. A couple classes as 'one person', and and infant until the age of 7 (!) classes as 'half a person' and can live and sleep in the same room with it's parents. Therefor, if we did get a one bedroom place now, the mutual exchange could take up to 6-7 years, which would be highly uncomfortable for all of us. That's why -besides the waiting time- we don't even take the bidding on Band D - General too serious.)
When our little girl gets here, we have to go back with her full birth certificate and all the documents proving we're getting benefits for and because of her. Then so we will automatically (Let's wait and see.) will be put in Band B - Urgent, as applying for a two bedroom place. That's where the reality and the luck of bidding starts, and can take up to a year til we get to move somewhere.
Why?! Cause until then, for the council Lileeva technically does not yet exist.
Let me leave the above without comment.


31 days aka exactly a month to go! Can't wait.

Saturday, 1 October 2011


Didn't even mention my dream the other day!
It was about me giving birth in the hospital's pool, mainly painless. Again! Then being back home in Budapest at my mum's house, having left my baby girl in the cot while sorting out lots of boxes, looking for toys for her. When realised she was pretty much unattended I panicked, but she was fine, wasn't even crying just laying awake in her Moses basket, that's when it hit me; She hasn't have been fed since she was born, for about a couple of days! I got her out, talked to her, and she understood every single word of mine, but since she was too young to talk her response for the question -'Are you hungry, little lady?' was looking at my chest and yumming cheekily.
She was a weird baby... A good weird I think. She was tiny, had blonde-ginger ish hair, and little blue eyes with an embarrassingly clever spark in them. Had one of those piercing looks, like she knew you inside and out without words. I felt a little dumb around her.
I reckon it has something to do with having my mind around the big moving already, and of course being scared of being a bad mother.
Can't quite remember whether I dreamt this before or after the scan though, but on the scan pictures all what you see is her massive head, looks like she has a big brain already! That scan photo reminds me of Brain from 'Pinky and the Brain' haha!
Aww my little clever alien.

I got a snowflake Obsidian from Tünde the other week, so at least it keeps the extreme nightmares away.
'A stone of purity, Snowflake Obsidian provides balance for body, mind and spirit.  It helps you recognise and release “wrong thinking” and stressful mental patterns.  Promotes dispassion and inner centring. Snowflake Obsidian can provide balance during times of change. It aids in seeing patterns in life and recreating them in a more beneficial way. It is a stone of serenity and purity, and can shield against negativity. It gives protection from physical and emotional harm.'

And here's my nephew Alfie. I was looking after him today for an hour or so while Lou was having bit of a 'me time' with her mum. He had his cleft lip operation yesterday, that's why he is covered with dry scabbed blood, bless him.
Anyways, we (Mainly me, cause Lee had to go to work.) got the flat sorted today, a few more things and we are ready for the council person to come out on Monday morning. Funny enough I was scheduled  for Tuesday, without letting me know the exact time, when the actual visitor called and said there has been changes and a swap over, so she'll be coming out with her hardly understandably African accent between 09am-11am on Monday instead. Still believe it has something to do with my threat. Chuffed! Hope all is on the go now...