Lileeva's birthday

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Thursday, 28 April 2011


Me and Lee are usually communicate via email while he is at work cause when he gets home usually goes straight to bed and the next day wakes up just before he has to leave. But no excuses, we don't really talk anyway, just making noises. (Does this sound weird?! I think you just pass a comfort point in the relationship when it becomes normal.)
So the date my parents are coming over is getting closer and closer, so we discussed the time table and programs via email as usual. My main issue is that I don't want my pops to pay for anything, but not sure I'll be getting my benefit til then so it leaves Lee to pay not just for our rent and food but the tickets and travels of my parents' as well.
He offered  the above saying -'You shouldn't worry about things like this, after all we are family now.' and so it hit me. Most probably cause it was there and there, written.
We are a family now, no matter what. He is not just my boyfriend anymore, he is my partner, the dad to be of my alien, and my parents have became his family too.
I'm happy.


It was Lee's birthday celebration last weekend and we went out with all our friends. I'll keep up not posting about my personal things, more likely trying to focus on my pregnancy. (O.K. and beyond, a little bit.)
And so here, in public, I have to admit I drank and smoked. It wasn't the normal 1-2 unit drinking, it was the Jagerbomb night with a 14 Mayfair and I utterly regret it now. I got drunk from a gin and tonic and the first Jagerbomb, then I didn't stop. Luckily didn't have hangover or felt sick the day after, it was just pure guiltiness. A few weeks ago I had a couple of alcopops and the following day I had horrible cramps but not this time.
What I found out from a TV show called 'Misbehaving Mums to Be' that even though you think smoking doesn't harm your baby if you do have around 20 a day it doesn't let the oxygen get to him/her so it's little heart has to work faster to get the ideal amount of oxygen and it can be fatal.
About drinking; Think it was a wake up call, or at least it made me read what the consequences are of heavy/binge drinking:
- restricted growth
- facial abnormalities
- learning and behavioural disorders
Well... We don't want this, do we?! Although in the other program 'I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant' the women do give birth to mainly healthy babies even though they weren't eating healthy but were drinking and smoking during their unknown pregnancy.
Still, I rather not chance it, after all I had low chances to even conceive.


Last week I met Tracey the midwife for the first time. She's Scottish and she is awesome. Spent there over an hour and a half talking about everything and even though she might be answering the same questions day-by-day she was really nice and polite.
For example I didn't even know I could choose not to breast feed?! Anyways, she told me why it is better for the baby, making his/her immune system stronger with its bacterias and stuff. She also told me I shouldn't worry about fucking things up, cause around giving birth she'll let me know about basic, practical things, and a few months after, childcare going to visit me at home, letting me know what to do from then on, what to feed the baby with and things like that. So again, not to worry I won't be left alone with my questions.
She made me confident about slowly passing the critical period of miscarriage and I wasn't showing any signs of it anyway (Like bleeding, or suspiciously strong pains.) so I'm fine. As it happens she changed the date of my first scan for next Friday the 6th, as the previous date I had was exactly on 13 weeks 6 days which is the end of the first trimester. Also she re-calculated my due date and it is on 11-12/11/11.
Forgot to ask her about whether or not the closest hospital to me has a pool for water birth though. I hope they do, I always wanted to make it easier and less painful with it. I like water.
She's given me loads of flyers and to-read booklets so I don't feel lost anymore.
I'm well happy of passing the first 7 weeks without seeing these illustrations; Their ugliness disgust me so much!
I just realised I'm 12 weeks in already. Haha, get in! 6 more months to go! Here:
'Just 12 weeks after conception, the fetus is fully formed. Your baby has all of their organs, muscles, limbs and bones, and their sex organs are developed. From now on your baby will grow and mature. Your baby is already moving about, but you will not be able to feel movements yet.'
It's incredible how 3 months ago it was just one of the 3 billions, who won the race and now it has its own legs and heartbeat.
However I'm still unable to believe it really is happening.

Week 4  
Week 6
Week 12

Tuesday, 26 April 2011


If a pregnant woman asks you to buy chocolate for her, you do buy chocolate for her. You don't forget then joke about it, no matter what the excuse is. You just don't, do you?!

Monday, 18 April 2011


Health wise I seem to be fine, still no morning sickness which I hopefully won't anymore have, after all I'm in my 10th week now.
The weekend me and Lee's family went to the countryside for their relatives' wedding, which was lovely, even though on the way down I felt horribly sick in the car. My father-in-law was driving, proper fast, which I normally don't have a problem with, in fact like very much, so don't know what happened. Was perfectly fine on the way back so I suppose it was something to do with the hunger.
Scary how thin the line is between hunger and sickness in my case, but I even mentioned it before when I was writing about my new eating habits.
That's us all smart on the wedding, the first and yet only decent photo of us. I like it very much.

Louise has given me a book which tells me when and where to go, what to look after and what's the baby look like in each week. It also taught me that dental care is free during and a year time after pregnancy. Get in! Especially cause it's one of those which you have to pay for even though you are paying NI.
By the way Lou said I seem to be eating a lot, which I kind of have to agree with but hey, I've always been a big eater even though I always felt guilty about it. But to be perfectly honest, this time of my life I couldn't care less how fat or bloated I'm going to get, even if the extra fat will not just be on my belly but anywhere else too. (As I am already putting on some serious life belt layer, looking like I'm in my second trimester already haha!) I'll have a stressful year ahead with the baby anyway which I hopefully will be able to turn on my side, weight loss wise.
At the moment it's still just us two, but I started to feel less important for myself if it comes to health. Seriously, who cares if I'll be gaining more weight (Even if it's permanent, fuck it!) as long as I have a healthy baby!?
Still only temporary cravings, like cheesy-sour creamy pasta and fruits. Lots of fruit.
This might be sounding a little crazy but sometimes even though I had a massive glass of water or juice, I feel dry. Not thirsty, no dry mouth, not even dry skin. It's dryness and heat from the inside, so might be dehydration. I had it before the pregnancy as well. Only thing that helps is fruit.
Oh what I've been thinking lately: Will be having a baby is the perfect reason to buy all the Harry Potter books in English, without being ashamed. Jokes, but how true!


A week or so ago I had bit of a break down thing going on.
I have trouble sleeping nowadays again, tired but unable to sleep more than 5 hours, keep waking up, and only tired and able to have a short nap early noon, never night or day time. Suppose it could be something to do with working nights for many years and now sitting on my arse, doing nothing for about a month now. And surely the builders... Oh and the bloody fat kid who keeps running about upstairs. He must be at least the size of an elephant. Who never sits down. Ever.
My main issue the other day was exactly this, the doing nothing thing, but luckily I have Lee who I could talk it through with. I started to feel horrible for not seeing Lee much cause of his overtimes and the same time I'm home all day, every day, watching telly, not working, not earning any money and soon I'll be out of savings and won't be able to afford my part of our rent, shopping and bills. Even though if I was looking for a job, who would hire me for only 5 months and would willing to pay me a year maternity on top?!
So today I pulled myself together finally and made myself worth for living, on a way that I started to look for benefits; What kind of am I able to get and so. Even if I was able to get like £50 a week for time being, I'd feel better for being able to give some money to Lee.
Also, we are going to go to the council soon and apply for a cheap flat as the council provides this sooner or later to single (Well... Technically I am, until I get married, I suppose?!) mothers.
As now I have some time, I'll have a look into something I always wanted to do: Take an NVQ course. I mean, I have way too much free time in my hands, I'm bored, and if it's free as I think it is, why not give it a try, have a qualification, and in a year and a half time go, and find a proper job at last.


So I've been looking into how to get a midwife, the person who actually will be with me for the whole length of my pregnancy. Apparently you meet with/get one on your first antenatal meeting which I not just didn't know how to sign up for but is one of the adjectives I can't even pronounce.
Anyways, this problem has been solved a few weeks back when I kept receiving missed calls from a number, which I finally managed to take; It was one of the midwives calling me for an appointment. I find it brilliant that I'm actually in a system and NHS seems to be looking after people. Well... At least pregnant people.
So I'm going round the corner (Literally.) on Wednesday to meet with Tracey who hopefully will be able to answer all my questions.