291.

These teddies make my life both heaven and hell.
I mentioned before that Lileeva loves her elephants. That's fine, but this love lately turned into hardcore obsession. I think mainly Tenerife we can blame this on. Anyways, she just wouldn't sleep without them. She's alright in the pram or carrier when we are out, or even in the car, but no matter how overtired she is, just wouldn't give in when the teddies (Or at least one of them.) are not around.
For this exact reason we took them to Louise's on Christmas Day, and of course, we left them there by accident. Nightmare!
This resulted Lileeva, and therefore me too, hardly sleeping the past couple of days. Endless screaming it was for us and failed attempts on shooting her with other teddies. Surprisingly enough, rocking her asleep on my chest did work... It never used to. Upside is that I finally have received some decent snuggles with her, been a while! That is until I tried to lay her down, then I had to use the Buddha belly strokes to make her go back asleep. Still, I got used to her festive lay-ins, maybe a little too much, and these 05-06am wake up calls really done me in.
We got them pink bastards back this morning thankfully, but the cheeky chops did still play up when I put her down tonight. Here's hoping it's Lileeva coming to realise that she does indeed love and requires cuddles.
Weird how comfort or control parenting does not matter, you are simply unable to avoid either of their downsides. If I was comfort parenting, I was having to have to rock my child to sleep every single time she was needing a nap. Objectless, but gets harder with time, and I do mean physically hard too. As of control parenting, as much as it makes sense, I didn't really think about she would need an object to comfort her when I'm not around. Suppose it's the dummy for most kids, which she wouldn't take and which I'm absolutely happy about. I hate 3 year odds (Or even older.) with their dummies hanging from their mouths while talking. I personally sucked my thumb for a long time, which is quite a bad habit too and looks just as wrong on a toddler as a dummy stuffed in their faces. Well, Lileeva has her elephants to suck on, and even if I tried to look at things as an outsider, yes, I rather see a little-big child walking about with a teddy in her mouth than a dummy or a red thumb.
It's just a fucking pain, when you leave them behind.
(Note to self: Check Primark, see if they still do them, if so buy an emergency back up.
Edit: Fucking hell! People have the nerve to sell the Primark comforter on eBay for up to £23 (!) plus postage. It's a Primark toy goddamn it. Well baffled. Looking at other type of comforters and their prices makes me suicidal.)

Lileeva is drinking from a 12months+ straw cup now. It has a twisty top luckily, so I threw that filthy Tommy Tippee one away straight after buying this new one. I did however keep the base, which is technically just a thin plastic mug with two handles. Will be useful as soon as we start to train her to drink from cups and glasses. Which will be very soon, if it's up to me.
Also looking at potty and toilet training sets, but it can definitely wait, at least until the weather is a little warmer and she can run around the house bare bummed.
Talking is going well, Lileeva been making yodelling sounds for weeks now! Not even sounds, she just says the word 'yodel' constantly. I think she likes the sound that 'L' makes, or the way her tongue rubs when she makes it.
She also learned to say 'Phew!' after smelling her own or our feet. Now everything she smells is 'Phew!' haha, quite entertaining actually!

290.

Lileeva learnt to climb stairs. Luckily we have none in our flat.
She is also becoming more flexible with her sleeping routine. The past week or so she's been sleeping more throughout the night and less during the day, however, she still naps daytime every now and then, it could just be from teething as it doesn't seem to be a necessity any longer.

Both of our Christmases were good.
I spent the Hungarian one cooking, listening X-mas tunes and sipping mulled wine throughout the day, while my babies were out. The soup didn't turn out too nice, but neither of us are big on liquid foods anyway. But the gammon! It was one sexy gammon if I say so myself! We had dinner at 04pm ish, had to wait around for Lileeva to finish hers (She's still little, that has to be the only acceptable explanation why wasn't she rushing under the tree straight after, unlike both her mummy and daddy.), then off we opened the first lot of our presents at last!
Lileeva was more excited about the wrapping papers, but hey, give her another couple of years and she's going to be the first clearing up her plate!
It was an early night for her, me and Lee stayed up having a few more drinks and pampering our new goods.
Just how I prefer, nice and quiet, in a good spirit.

The English get together was amazing too, but as expected, the exact opposite. 12 of us constantly in the house for dinner, plus the additional family members popping by visiting. We arrived around noon, got nice and merry quite quick, opened the rest of the presents (Resulting Louise's living room looking like a bomb sight of a wrapping paper factory.) and had dinner around 04pm. Oh wasn't it gorgeous!
Due to the excitement Lileeva wouldn't give in on having a nap, obviously. On the other hand I did curl up in my niece's bed for an hour, just so I was to wake up with the worst migraine fit for a long time! I hardly touched the table covered with festive cakes, didn't even drink anything but water from then on. Funnily enough, I haven't had much alcohol, nor food, it was the insane heat and noise in the house that got to me. Forgot how bad can my system handle the temperature being above 25°C constantly.
We got a cab back home past 10pm, but since my headache was pretty much gone by we got it, me and Lee stayed up til 03am, playing with our new toys.
It was a really nice, happy, and surprisingly rich Christmas for all of us.

A brief list of Lileeva's stuffs, if I dare trying to remember of it all:
- lots of Peppa Pig socks
- many thights
- many leggings
- Peppa Pig boots
- jeans
- tops
- tunics
- pyjamas
- vest-coat
- dressing gowns
- red-black skull themed dress
- easy to walk in rubbery foot cover-socks
- Peppa Pig slippers
- funky bottoms for sleeping/indoors
- singing-teaching cow
- singing-teaching puppy
- Mickey Mouse farm house
- Fisher-Price farm house
- Fisher-Price doll house
- massive Peppa Pig plush teddy
- Peppa Pig hide and seek game
- Alice in Wonderland pop-up book
- couple of more teddies

289.

Lileeva learned to climb today.
I haven't been looking for a split second and bosh, she was on the coffee table, enjoying Szaffi the cartoon from the very first row. I did watch her climb up on the laptop stand later, which is just as low as the coffee table. Her trick is to lay on the table grabbing the other end, and slid up on it like a little seal.

Not sure which one is 'worse', the fact that my mumsiness is striking again big times, or that I'm happy about it, and the outcome of it.
I spent Thursday in the kitchen, making bejgli and töltött káposzta for the following day. The first attempt for both and they did turn out how they supposed to. Result! I also thought I'd get some basic cleaning done, and by I realised what's going on, the entire flat was clean, and I was standing on a chair washing windows! Proper mumsy!
On Friday I held a mini pre-Christmas get together for the boys, with the above stated dinner, followed by a festive buffet, cheesy Christmas music video chart show, some alcoholic beverage, board games and taboo. For Lee's instruction, Buddy turned up with a bottle of honey-cherry pálinka. The atmosphere was amazing, it felt proper Christmasy. A small group of friends (What friends?! Family!), everyone making a fool out of themselves, dancing in our living room. Nothing more I could wish for, the event turned out to be much much more better and festive than I have imagined it would!

Saturday I had the house to myself, so I got more baking done, mainly for our English Christmas do at Louise's on Tuesday. It was another ultimate Christmas vibe day for me. A coffee and a couple of slices of bejgli for breakfast, online Christmas radio and baking baking baking! I'll be taking a battenberg cake, two loaves of bejgli (Traditional poppy seed and walnut.), rum-coconut balls and a winter themed chocolate sponge-cherry jam cake.
Today I baked the bread for tomorrow's dinner and done bits of tidying just so I don't have to worry about these anymore.
So far so good, everything is according to plan.
All I have to worry about tomorrow is my family's classic dinner, which takes forever to be cooked, but is fairly easy to be made. I'm kind of lucky of coming from a different culture, because as Lee keep pointing it out, he never tried half of the foods I'm making, therefore he doesn't exactly know how they meant to taste haha! Still, the pressure is on, but as I said, so far I haven't been failing much. Oh, the proud mummy moments.
Merry Christmas!

288.

We've done Winter Wonderland yesterday.
Soon after Lee got home from work I started to pull ourselves together, had breakfast, and left. Got there before opening so we had to wait a little, but it resulted us being able to see the market without bumping into someone all the time, plus, we didn't have to queue to see Santa either!
Lileeva was a bit moany, since she hasn't had her morning nap, but braved Santa nicely! Although she looked like she was going to cry at some point, she just sat next to Father Christmas and stared at him continuously, with no shame whatsoever. She got a little present and we got a few nice, professional photos taken as well, to go in our family album.
On this note; For now I think I'll be going with the English version of things, where Father Christmas brings the presents. Therefor we have less chance of a slip up.
For us Hungarians, St. Nicholas (Mikulás) comes on the 6th of December (On the name day of Miklós aka Nicholas.) which we have to be prepared with polishing our shoes and putting them in the windows. He comes during the night, and if we were good, he leaves some chocolate in our boots, or, if we were bad, we get virgács. As of Christmas, we get the presents from Baby Jesus and/or angels. (Being atheist, definitely angels in my book.)
Maybe I make up a Hunglish version, where Santa comes twice for her, I have to figure this properly. Luckily I've got at least one, but possibly two years to work on the matter.

By we finished with that and had our lunch (Bratwurst. I've been craving wurst forever and W.W. blatantly the place for it!) Lileeva fell asleep, so me and Lee got on the German dark beer and hot cider. Around noon the place got packed, which gave the ultimate Christmas buzz to it. Lee not liking the crowd, I thought we were going to leave pretty much after looking around once but instead we ended up staying until about 04pm! We probably would have even stayed longer if I wasn't expecting a delivery that evening.

We went on the gypsy trick games, trying to win a teddy for Lileeva, but failed miserably. However, I did win her a teddy-snake! I say win, but all I had to do is catch a ball, which was way too easy comparing to shooting cans or throwing hoops over bottles. We bought her a massive, helium Peppa Pig balloon, which was good for hanging on the pram, flapping in our faces for a couple of hours, then right before leaving for home, flying away.
I wasn't really fussed about the prices, they could have been much worse. The food, drinks and market goods were fairly reasonable (£4 mulled wine, £3 chips, £4 wurst in a baguette, £6 pie and mash) but I hated the fact they made their money out of the children. £7 for a helium balloon that they don't even tie properly is a rip off!
I was quite surprised that the village was basically 98% German. Not complaining though. I even found a couple of Hungarian food stools too, where I immediately bought a túró rudi and a lángos. I was tempted to get a kürtőskalács too but decided on a belgian waffle instead.
Basically we had an entire day of family outings, which was amazing and much needed! The whole trip threw even Lee to the Christmasy mood, ha!
Yes, lot of money spent and technically we came home empty handed, but definitely worth it.
I loved it. I love Christmas and above all, I love my family!

287.

Last Wednesday's hectic experience (Post 284.) was definitely good for something: Me focusing on talking to Lileeva in Hungarian more.
In the baby group most parents were talking to their kids on their own language, and my friend's friend, who was over with her daughter that afternoon, done the same. It kind of amazed me how much that 15 months old little girl understood, in fact, even tried to talk to her mum, possibly on their language.
I've been failing on this Hungarian business lately. Since I don't myself practice Hungarian, words come out easier in English. I find it hard to talk to Lileeva -a lot- even though I know she understands and this is the way she learns, her not replying baffles me. It's also hard to talk to her in Hungarian when I'm surrounded by my friends, I kind of think it's rude to use a different language in front of others. However, a surprising amount of my friends have had the opportunity to become bilingual and they all keep saying to me how much they wish their parents made the effort when they were young.
It's definitely time for me to man up!

So I found an amazing torrent site (Which I'm not going to link, in case somehow it would be forced to shut down because of it.) with all the oldschool Hungarian cartoons! I'm not talking about the translated Disney films, no.
It's all about the good stuff! Dr. Bubó, Mézga Család, Frakk, Vizipók Csodapók and many many more. (Written about them previously in Post 50.)
So I'm a mummy on a mission lately. Not saying the teaching would only be about the cartoons, in fact I plan to use them as a 'background noise' that refreshes my Hungarian dictionary and inspires me to use my mother language when I talk to Lileeva.
But also, have to admit, I can't wait for Lileeva to start to watch and show interest in them. I loved them so much, I wasn't to lay down in my cot until I watched my before bed Dr. Bubó! And yes, this is possibly the earliest memory I have. Ding ding.

286.

Silly me, I can't count. 8+4=12. So Lileeva has twelve teeth, not ten!
And as I stated below, she's teething now. Not sure whether there are any more fighting through or just having trouble with the existing ones, but she's in great pain lately. Her first morals are cutting funny, since unlike the incisors, they have a dent in them. Therefor they cut the gum in two places, instead of just one. Lileeva is not happy about it and neither am I! Rubbing Bonjela on her a few times daily is essential, but damn does she bite me all the time! And the girl has some serious jaw power there.

Since I'm seeing Lileeva day by day it's hard to call out every little changes on her. Even if I did, I tend to forget about them because I'm so used to them. For example when I'm doing her hair daily, I keep noticing the growth of her head. She's got long hair now, apart from on the ear-to-ear line, where her skull/brain is stretching. That area is covered with short 'baby hair' for now.
Her hands are quite big and strong, I've only realised it tonight, while she was holding her before bed bottle.
She's getting chubbier again. I'm not too worried about it though, she's everything but fat, and to be honest she needs strength that starts her up on walking. I'm feeding her healthy as well, making sure she has water or tea throughout the day, porridge and/or bread and/or pasta, fruit and/or vegetables, meat and of course milk. I control this as much as I can, but obviously she gets spoilt and fed with junk snacks when the grandparents (Or daddy. Khm khm.) looking after her.
And, of course, she's learning quick. This makes me paranoid sometimes. For example she tries to throw her teddies at the cat, because that's what she sees from us. Basically when the cat meows forever, or scratches the sofa or the chairs, we just grab whatever is near to us and throw at her to shut her up. This is not something I want Lileeva to learn. Too late. Also, I'm trying to watch my water intake, having a bottle with me all the time. Now she wants to drink out of my bottle instead of her sippy cup... I better have a glass with me, so it encourages her to drink out from a glass herself.
These little things that make me realise how much responsibility I have over her.
(Note to self: Definitely even less swearing from now on! More of the nice things, like cuddles, kisses, stroking kitty instead of threats of trying to teach her fly over the balcony.)

285.

Teething is an ongoing fucker of not just the baby's, but the mum's life too. Fin.

284.

13 months yesterday.
We had an eventful Wednesday. Straight after waking and pulling ourselves together I took Lileeva to the nearby Children's Center to a play group. The 0-2 year drop-in was empty, everyone came for the 0-5 years arty crafty session, so we went to check that out. As I thought, she is way too small for that, and it was way too hectic for us. After about half an hour we hopped back to the kiddie playing session, which was pretty much full by then!
It was definitely more suitable for us, still, was quite manic. I got used to going to small groups, with 5-8 children plus their carers, donate £1 for a cup of tea and have a nice, relaxed chat with the mums, while the babies are playing. While this time, there were at least 15 kids with their parents and was pretty much impossible to communicate due to the noise level. It was free but maybe a bit too organised for me. The two hour session started at 10am and finished at noon. Around 1115am they shouted 'tidy up time' so we actually had to pack away, which is fair enough, considering the size of the area and the amount of mess our children made, but no one really knew where do the toys go. Then apparently from 1130am til noon there were a singing session then snacks. Possibly for donation?! I haven't waited that out though. I hate singing.
Lileeva was a little moody, maybe because the session interfered her morning nap, maybe due to the manic and loudness of it. I think she liked it though, she was interested in both the kids and toys. Either way, I will take her back again. I know nursery is a long way, but the earlier she learns to socialize, the better.
But, to be honest, the intensity of this morning activity drained both of us.

My long time not seen friend came around the afternoon, which was amazing. Turned out her used to be flatmate (Whom I've previously met, but neither of us stayed in touch with for quite a while.) is living in my area and has a Lileeva-age daughter. So, invited her and her kid up too, for a coffee.
Things have turned funny here. Her daughter is on a very different level. I know she just wanted to play with Lileeva, but was very aggressive, and 'in your face' type. Her mum didn't even control or tell her off. Yes, it did piss me off... I don't care how do other people raise their own children, but for fuck's sake, they were in my house, and her child made my daughter cry numerous times, why am I supposed to be responsible of telling her child off?! As harsh as it sounds, they are the perfect examples I'd like to stay away from.
Both me and my friend were in great shock after they left, we even popped a bottle of wine open to ease our nerves. Yes, it was that bad.

283.

The glory of having my period back! As much as I was waiting for it, ain't going to lie, I kind of hoped of being pregnant already haha!
Anyways, this at least explains my horrendous mood swings, and hard time dealing with Lileeva on Sunday. Phew!
Kali planted the idea of ovulation calculation in my head the other day. I suppose it's easy to be obsessed about it if you're planning, so I won't even look into it. I don't want sex to be a 'job' or only a reason of getting pregnant again. It takes quite a bit of my willpower to stop myself, but I should and will just leave things to nature.

Since Lileeva saw Loki walking around, she started to climb up on the baby walker and is strolling around the room, all day long. When we tried to make her do it, she had none of it. This is the second time I noticed, she rather learns from other children than from adults.
This was probably the push I needed to pop into the nearby Children's Center and pick up a time table, which I meant to do for weeks now. Me having socializing issues should not stop me going, really. Especially since she gets bored easily at home, new atmosphere and toys can only do her good, not to mention she might even be able to make friends pre-nursery. Damn, I might even be able to make friends! I do lack of them. Also, these groups will keep me occupied. I figured I do need to keep myself busy, the lack of adventures in my life is one of the reasons for me being more and more screwed. Too much time to think doesn't do me well lately.
Lileeva also drank successfully from a glass by herself today! First time she ever tried it as well! I was contemplating buying a more grown up, leak-free sippy cup for her, but luckily it saves me spending on it. Woohoo!

I had an amazing day today by the way, the exact opposite of Sunday! We went to see Kali and Loki for a few hours the morning then both had a nap after getting in. I received my mum's package of szaloncukor variety (My favourite of jelly, gold wrapped marzipan and green wrapped rum and chocolate flavoured ones.), some teddies (My little mouse! Haven't seen him since I was a kid!) and a cute Santa hat. I put a Christmas film on, decorated the tree with some of the gold and green candies, then written all the festive cards for family and friends.
As cheesy as it sounds, this evening had a truly magical sparkle to it, and I loved every minute of it! No munchies, no Love Actually, but that lovely Christmassyness that I needed desperately.

282.

Lileeva and I have had such an off day today. We were on a proper different level and just couldn't deal with each other. Might be my hormones or her teething or what not. Thankfully Lee was around and saved me, although he assisted only one of the fits. On days like these I wish we had a soundproof room with a punch bag in the middle. Say no more. I truly hate days like these.
No secret that I'm dealing with quite a few personal issues, which I'm not going to state here, on a public blog. These are issues only with myself though, not with others around me. Still, some of Lileeva's behaviours are the biggest triggers out of every others. But at the same time, I have to admit, she is the only person in the whole wide World, who allows me to forget about them all, even if it's just for a second. Regardless the days like today, she is the one who makes me the happiest in this entire Planet.

On another note, we put up the Christmas tree this afternoon. Quite decent, even if I say so myself. A pre-lit 6 foot fake tree, not my favourite choice, I'd prefer a real one, with pine smell instead of plastic, but definitely less of a hussle. The decoration is lime-gold this year, to match our green-yellow living room. I don't have a decent photo of it just yet.
Kind of thought today is going to be the one, when I'll have my moment of Christmasness, snuggling kitty up on the sofa under a blanket, with a jug of hot chocolate, some biscuits and Love Actually, after putting Lileeva down and while Lee is out on his 'day off' at his mates. I'm way too worked up for it now though, and usually by most of the evenings come, I just can't be bothered with anything, apart from monging at my laptop then crash to bed.
I'm going to have a calming bath, wonder about the meaning of Life, then hibernate until... Tomorrow.
My moment of munchies and loveness is yet to come!

281.

Today I received the last bit of Christmas present, finally! Only a couple of more to go, but I have to pick them up from my friend on Monday so I'm not too worried about them.
Of course, yesterday the fairy lights went off in the living room, can't even fix them so was going to pick a new set up today, but the shop I went to didn't have any. I took Lileeva's off, cheeky I know, but it was hanging from her lampshade anyway and looked a bit funny.
We are putting the tree up tomorrow, I was going to do it today, but Lee wants to be a part of it, as a family activity, which I'm really grateful of!
I've also done the last bit of Christmas shopping today. It is the last, really, I'm not willing to spend any more money on baking gear this year. Well, not before Christmas anyway. Not sure when will I have the time to bake everything, because Lee is working until the very last minute, and the cakes have to be fresh for the 24th and 25th. Plus I have our dinner to look after.
Getting quite anxious, honestly.  This is the first real family Christmas for us! I can 100% relate to this year's advert from Asda.

280.

We are officially on round two. I say officially, cause we do speak about it to others now.
We agreed on probably wanting another child at some point in the future and being realistic I found that now is better than later. Took a little while to convince Lee, but being a pushy nightmare I managed to do so haha!
I think the smaller age gap between them would be better, especially when they get a bit older. They can play together, have similar interests, can go out partying together... Hopefully the attention seeking and jealousy fits won't really be issues either. We will see.
In my case, it makes more sense, that's why I pushed Lee into it. Getting pregnant straight after going back to work and having to do everything from the beginning would be foolish in my opinion, kind of 'getting it over with' sounds wiser. Not sure about the stress and my ability of coping, but I will never know until I try.
I got my implant taken out a month ago or so. It's not like we are planning to have another baby with all our will power, more likely we are letting our chances. We also decided, regardless the gender, it will probably be the last one. No secret, we would have preferred a boy first then a girl, only for the theory of the older boy looking after the younger girl when they are teenagers. That's about it really. Since I had Lileeva though, I grew to prefer girls. Optimal would be having a boy for next, one each and all that, but, to be perfectly honest, I might would like to have another girl.
See what the future holds for us.

I put Lileeva in the Manduca carrier after months! The last time I had her in that was during summer and she hated it, screaming throughout the entire trip to Tesco and back. We both are quite comfortable using her little pram, but I wanted a change today. She wasn't fussed, in fact almost fell asleep in it on the way home from Lee's parents. I had her on my front, and damn did it make me feel broody! I miss my bump!
I have bit of a lower abdominal discomfort lately but it can be from so many things, so I don't have my hopes high haha! I might've consumed dairy accidentally, or my day of detox, regular exercise or simply period pains. The latest is the most likely, however I'm not entirely sure. I haven't had my period for two years this February coming, and I totally forgot about my cramps' intensity and stuff. I really don't miss them though, obviously.
I do not want to rush anything, as I said we are not in a mad planning spree, but I am definitely ready for pregnancy number two.

279.

I love my little chops! I've written about children's purity previously and it still melts my heart.
Lileeva keeps feeding us, trying to share her juice with us, giving me 'my' favourite toys of hers and so on. She is simply amazing.
Also, she tidies her toys and puts her dropped pieces of food back into her plate, just to pick them up again and eat them, plus she religiously closes doors, sippy cups and everything  else she is able to. I wonder whether or not I'm taking my 'OCD' house work onto the next level,  but at least she is learning the 'good' stuffs over the 'bad' ones. So far.
She knows exactly when she's doing something she's not supposed to; like playing with the wires. Every time I tell her off, she tries to sell herself as playing with her nearby toy. So cheeky!
We still have off times, we will forever I suppose, but I do try and control my snaps. Especially hearing the neighbour shouting at their kids is a big slap from reality. I don't care if they hear me, because when I shout, I usually have a good reason to. I'd like to believe so, anyway. When, for example after telling Lileeva off five times for chewing on the plugged in phone charger and she keeps on crawling back and doing it, then yes, I do lose it. Or get the amp with her, when she's screaming for no reason. Under no reason I mean for another peace of calendar chocolate or when I put her aside in the kitchen, so she won't be able to reach the hot oven door.
Now I haven't met with the downstairs neighbours and their kids, but s/he is probably not in any sort of routine, even though s/he sounds older than Lileeva. (I'm not a stalker. They are Africans, hence you can hear every single thing that they are up to. Do the maths.) They come home around 10-11pm ish every day, the kid is screaming about midnight, the dad shouts 'Shut up!' and the kid cries even louder. Going to sleep to that daily makes me bear things in mind and I have the aim to raise Lileeva with a calmer manner. I'm not 100% there yet, but I do try.

She is growing up fast. Seeing doing pretty much everything by herself, makes me very happy. I know we still have a long way to go, but she is very independent and incredible alert. You just try hiding anything from her! Simply impossible.
I'm not looking forward to Christmases when she's older haha!