Lileeva's birthday

Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

Sunday, 3 August 2014


Here we go.
The past week Lileeva has had her naps in knickers, without pretty much no accidents. (One, but that was an unusually long nap.) So we decided to get a waterproof sheet/mattress protector, take the sides of the cot off, and give this night time dryness a go too. We placed her potty and some toilet roll beside her bed, offering to leave her side lamp on for the night, which she refused.
The first night was weird... She woke up dry, but one of her comfort teddies was soaking. I figured she must have used it as a nappy. However, the second night was perfect. She woke up dry, and regardless of the darkness, she managed to get up, do a wee in her potty, then get back to bed. I'm so proud of her!
We yet to work on her wanting to stay in bed, when we put her down the evening. Started on the bed time stories, but she keeps getting up afterwards, saying it's 'Morning time!' and we have to raise our voices to get her back to bed. I'm sure this won't be problem for long though, she's a fast learner.

Friday, 25 July 2014


That's Lileeva, pretty much potty trained.
It was Father's Day, when she decided she rather use the potty than her nappy. We didn't push her, we didn't say anything about it. Something just clicked in her.
Going even further, for the past week or so, she didn't even use her potty, but is doing her business on the 'big girl's toilet'. She places the kiddie seat, drags the step, closes the door, sits up, does her thing and wipes herself. She can't flush the toilet (Chain tank.) and we obviously have to sort her out after number #2's, but that's the least to worry about! We even go out in knickers, and squat in bushes if the urge is great, only using nappies for naps and night time sleeps.

She is also very active, less fussy when it comes to food, and asks for fruits as snacks, instead of sweets. Maybe all this contributes for her losing a bit of weight from her belly. She's never been a fat kid, but her tummy is definitely shrinking.
Only issue I have is her constant tantrums. It's getting ridiculous and way too frequent lately. She bites, kicks, pinches, punches, scratches, shouts, screams... The entire package. Most of the times for no reason, or because she can't take 'No' as an answer. Hopefully she'll grow out of it soon, because it's madness.

Monday, 30 June 2014


I just hope my daughter will love me as much as I love my Nana, and that me and Lileeva will share the bond I share with my nan. Opposed to the bond I share with my mum... Which is pretty much non-existent, purely physical. Sometimes I even doubt that.
That is all.

Thursday, 1 May 2014


Nightmares. Dreamt, lived, going through it.
Potty is clearly not for Lileeva. Not yet. Her new thing is ripping the nappy off herself, but asking me to put it back on her every time she needs a wee or a poo. Suppose at least she knows when the need hits her.
According to many sites, pressuring them into using the potty or toilet makes everything worse, so just have to let them do it in their own times. I know it's still a long way, but if she doesn't click until January, I won't be able to send her to nursery I assume. Sigh.
Her eating is better, but still stressful. She gets bored easily, and if she's not distracted by the television or me feeding her, she just wouldn't eat her meals. Still wanting to mainly snack over eating proper meals. And by snack I don't necessarily mean junk, but fruits, yoghurts and biscuits.
Going by the instruction of the dietician, we ditched the bottle and are giving her a cup of milk before bedtime instead. This still doesn't up her dinner intake by much, but she is getting the hang of it finally.
Lately we have trouble with sleeping as well. She wouldn't have a bath -which she used to love!-, but throw a screaming fit, that lasts until, and beyond we put her to bed. We either have to sleep on the floor, next to her cot, or wait there, holding her hand until she's deep asleep, then sneak out. Which usually wakes her up and makes her scream and shout again.
So, by all means, I'm having a difficult time with her. I know it will pass, and I know it's only the 'terrible twos' aka the time of tantrums and wanting to control us... But it can be heartbreaking and nerve racking.

I do keep wondering (And probably always will, until the end of days.) whether or not I'm a good mum. I let her watch lots of T.V., I don't read bedtime stories, I do shout at her and I don't engage in as much and fun activities as lots of other parents do with their children.
Then again, I do try and take her out every day if it's nice; to feed the ducks, to a playgroup, to the playground, or to see a friend. I also try and make sure she is eating healthy, and lately I started to train in front of her, instead of during her nap times. She sometimes even copies me, and I like the fact she's raised in this kind of environment. Her view of life, and standards are developing now, and here's a good chance she can establish healthy and fit habits.
I've also noticed -comparing to other children around us-, that Lileeva listens to me. She doesn't always show respect, but neither does she control me. When I tell her to hold my hand at the crossing, even if she isn't keen, she does it, unlike other children who just laugh at their parents and run out the main road, not at all stopping but having to be chased.
I'm not a perfect mum, but I am trying my best.

Sunday, 6 April 2014


Lileeva made me very happy and all emotional tonight. She gave me the usual kiss, cuddle with a squeeze, then held my head, looked in my eyes and said 'Mummy, I love you!' all by herself, for the very first time.
These are the moments Life is worth living.

Saturday, 5 April 2014


I've spoken too soon.
This potty training malarkey is insane and nerve-wracking. After the first successful day, Lileeva was back in her nappies for about two weeks, due to her illness. Re-started this potty and toilet madness on Monday, and I've been in bitch-mode since.
She knows what to do, where to go, she's even able to hold it in for long period of times... She just doesn't want to go on the potty. Or the toilet. She would scream until I put knickers on her, but feels safe weeing in them when she can't hold it anymore, regardless of me letting her run around in her wet pants after for a little while. Clearly, this reverse tactic of making her feel uncomfortable doesn't work.
I know she is ready, she is just lazy, and wants to go for the comfortable version. Well, don't we all?! Anyways, I'm not giving up. It just might takes longer than I expected. Joy.
Lileeva is getting better in talking and chatting with us, but we still have food issues. Soon, I hope, that will get sorted too. I have a follow-up appointment with the dietician in May, and she expects Lileeva to be weaned off of her night time bottle by then. This simply isn't going to happen. The potty training madness is enough for now. When she's dry throughout the day, then there will be the time to reduce her milk intake and go for a cup instead of a bottle, in the hope of keeping her dry throughout the night too.
But it feels like we have a long way to go until then. Sigh.
Not to mention, then so we probably going to have to deal with her waking up throughout the night - Until she gets the hang of eating more 'real' food, and drinking less milk before bed. She already has this tendency lately of waking up in the middle of the night, once or twice a week, screaming, demanding to come and sleep with us. I know, caving isn't the right thing, but damn, I ain't no heartless, so we just let her...
On another note, she became very good at drawing. All she does is cover papers -and lately herself as a tattoo- with faces. That's my girl!

Saturday, 15 March 2014


After my concerns about the health visitor's accountability on Lileeva's speech and diet, we went to see both a speech therapist and a dietitian this week. Everything is fine luckily.
The dietitian was even surprised and impressed with my knowledge on the subject. She said everything I'm doing is fine, it's only a matter of time for Lileeva to snap out of her picky habits and start to eat more variety of foods again.
The speech therapist said the similar, apparently Lileeva will be starting to talk 'properly', in sentences within the next few months. For our happiness with Lee, she started to sound 'I love you too' lately. Bless. Also saying 'Okay' a lot, instead of simply 'Yes' and 'No's haha!
I also started to potty train her, which seemed to be a nightmare at first, but she got the hang of it quite quickly, and after an afternoon of puddle-wiping, she managed to do a wee in her potty.
Just so to get ill the day after, so we are back in the nappies again... Either way, I'm hopeful.
We decided with Lee, that we will have no more children. Not at this moment of time anyway. We wouldn't manage the stress, and we rather stay together than to have more kids and separate.
Maybe, just maybe, when things have settled and Lileeva is at school and we both have the desired job we want, we maybe bring the subject up again.
Until then, it's all about our one and only Lileeva-chops.

Wednesday, 12 February 2014


Some days I think I'm a decent mum. Some days I think I'm the worst parent existing. Hell... what days?! Multiply times a single day...
No secret, I have temper issues, and damn isn't Lileeva pushing my limits daily! Sometimes even early afternoon I start clock-watching already, wishing my life away, hoping it was her bedtime. Constant tantrums about silly little things, non-stop whining of 'Mummy, mummy, mummy!'s for no reason and hitting/throwing things around, not taking 'No!' for an answer. So frustrating and draining.
Then the next minute she helps folding the laundry, tidies the room, throws her rubbish into the bin instead of leaving it around or even helps me rack my weights.
No wonder why parents go a little bit crazy. Having a child is fucking challenging.
I think I am selfish too. I demand my 'me time', I need my 'me time'.
Lately Lileeva started to have lay-ins the mornings and in return, dropping her afternoon naps. I tried to adjust, but simply could not. Not having that hour or two that breaks the day drives me nuts. (Probably has something to do with my training schedule and adrenaline levels too.)
With that said, I'm slowly realising that I'm probably not yet ready to have another child. I do want another one of course, but I worry I wouldn't be able to manage. Hmm...

Eating is still a nightmare, but getting slightly better. Potty training is on the hold until it gets warmer, especially since she's getting the cold.
And, tomorrow will be the first of many dreaded days; Nursery visit. I'm beyond nervous. On one hand, I would love to have a bit more of that above mentioned 'me time' which I could use well for studying and training. But, to be honest, I'm worried of letting her go. I know I need and I have to, but it makes me realise she's not my baby anymore, I won't have the full responsibility of her upbringing and her being in 'wrong hands' scares me shitless. (I'm aware of it being sheer paranoia, but a mother's job is to worry, right?!)
Fingers crossed this nursery is top notch.

Sunday, 9 February 2014


It isn't called 'terrible two's' for no reason.
It's like Lileeva is playing with my nerves daily, pushing my limits further and further with her cheeky little smile and is waiting when am I going to give up.
The tantrums are getting worse and worse and the food misery is unbearable. I'm seriously dreading lunch- and dinner times, because she wouldn't eat cooked, 'normal' food, but demands biscuits, sweets and fruits.
I even stopped giving her treat like snacks throughout the day, between meals, only fruits and/or yoghurt. If she eats majority of her dinner, then she gets a cup of tea or hot chocolate and a slice of cake or biscuits before bed.
I hope this method starts to work very soon, because the lack of nutrients she takes in worries me a little.

Wednesday, 5 February 2014


I've met possibly one of the worst health visitors, ever.
It was Lileeva's 27 month check-up, and I thought it will involve us talking about my concerns as well as they give me a guide how to sort them, like at all the previous health checks.
I mentioned this lady that I'm a little worried about Lileeva's lack of speech, and how fussy she is when it comes to food. (She's practically vegan, by choice.) I asked numerous times whether or not these are issues, considering that she's been raised in a bilingual family, and her height and weight is absolutely fine, so are her activity levels. The health visitor kept repeating, if I wanted to, she could refer us to a speech therapist and/or to a dietitian, but wouldn't give a straight forward answer.
Fucking useless.
I'm still thinking about the speech therapy thing, but due to my studies I decided a dietitian would just be a waste of time.

I've also noticed (Again.) how polite and nice Lileeva can be, comparing to other children at her age. She likes to share, and not the sort of kid that pushes others out of the way etc. With that said, I am teaching her to stand up for herself when someone takes something off of her, and it doesn't mean she can't be a real nightmare. Mostly with me though, not with other kids haha!

Sunday, 26 January 2014


I'm still alive!
It's not so easy to keep up with a blog (Or anything for that matter.) when you have a toddler.
Not even sure where to start...
Christmas, New Year and our mid-January trip to Budapest, plus the Rome-Budapest trip back in September... These will take place in a separate, photo filled entry. (When I can be bothered going through all my photos.)
Lileeva still isn't potty trained, but is definitely getting the idea of it. She keeps saying 'Wee-wee', pulls her pants down and sits down on the potty. In her nappies, and usually after she's done a wee, but hey, slowly but surely.
She understands everything, but still only replies in English. Lileeva isn't much of a talker comparing to other kids at her age, but she copies us and learns new words daily. She says 'Please!' and 'Cheers!' and uses other words purposely too.

As of me; I've been having bit of a mid-life crisis thing going on. Not only turning 27 recently and seeing more and more of my close friends becoming successful in their jobs and/or studies, but not getting pregnant again made me realise this is the time to sort my life out, no more tiptoeing around the subject. Long story short; I've recently enrolled to a college course. When I finish it, will enrol for a couple of others, and by the time Lileeva is school age, I will hopefully have all the qualifications I need to get a full time job. A job, I actually love and can practice for years.
That's it, a very brief update on our lives as of now.

(Note to self: When there is time, also sort out all the previous -and wrong- tags.)