Lileeva's birthday

Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

Thursday, 31 January 2013


I want to kill Justin Fletcher so badly! Going further, I want to murder the entire Cbeebies crew. Such shit programs, shit acting and over mimiced unfunny jokes. It's a definite vote for Fearne Cotton's oldschool kiddie telly and a vote against Mr fucking Maker.
Let's not even talk about In the Night Garden...
I swear the entire Cbeebies staff is on crack, or hooked on acid.
Worse is that kids love them! Even worse that I take advantage on Lileeva being glued to the telly every evening. This became her bedtime routine and gives me roughly an hour to myself before putting her down. I don't feel too bad about the fact her watching a bit of telly, however, her preferring these rubbish programs over for example old Disney cartoons does get to me. I don't want a braindead child.
Anyways, it's not like she's sitting in front of the T.V. all day, she has her morning cartoons while I'm preparing her breakfast and pulling myself together, plus an hour before bed. Apart from super cold and rainy days we don't really snuggle up in front of the telly.
In fact, I discovered another Children's Centre close by, so I went and grabbed their time table today. I'll try and aim for taking Lileeva out 5 days a week from next week, some days maybe even twice. Lee will be at work day time so no excuses or waiting about for him to wake up the afternoon for family times. Quite looking forward to live a normal, Monday to Friday life.
Lileeva has mastered opening zips and twisting the baby powder's cap as well as still is very much entertained by popping the Sudocrem open and playing with velcro. So that's us, not being able to leave anything around, unless its content is super baby-safe.

Tuesday, 29 January 2013


I wouldn't say I am a complete financial disaster but my bank account does cry out with hatred every now and then.
It's no secret, Lee is the working (Therefore supplying.) part of the family whereas I'm not getting any benefits whatsoever, apart from Child Benefit which every mum bringing up a child is entitled for and is around £80/month. I wouldn't particularly need more for myself, but here comes Life and how much it sucks sometimes.
I do want to go back to work at some point, but I rather work day time, doing preferably something I enjoy as well. I have an idea in mind and can do a course which provides me with the knowledge and reference, however it doesn't came straight with a job offer. I have the opportunity to do the course for £600 which is roughly half it's 'market price'.
Beforehand though, I would like to get my eye(s) done. My sight is horrible and besides needing for that particular job I'd like to do, it scares me, very much. Glasses just seem to make things worse, so my only option is surgery.  £1,000 minimum.
Hence, I looked into going on Job Seeker's Allowance, which turns out I'm not entitled to because I didn't have enough Class 1 National Insurance payed. I never cared about NI or taxes enough to dig to the bottom of them. Now screw Job Seeker's. If I didn't by the age limit have 30 years straight payed National Insurance (No matter which Class.) I won't get pension. So, as it happens, I have to back-pay the gaps when I wasn't in the country or haven't been working, hence NI hasn't been payed. Joyous moment of Life. Just waiting for HM Revenue's letter to see the damage. At least 2 years it is, so I'm preparing for a mild heart attack.
Apparently receiving Child Benefit makes me automatically pay Class 3 NI. If it doesn't, that will be a heavy heart attack over mild.
I also assume living, working and paying all the needed taxes and whatever else for many years in England, gives me the straight forward rights to get pension here?! Regardless, I've been planning on completing the citizenship test and applying for a British passport. £1,000.
And, apart from all this technical shit, here's the most annoying, every day issue I have to face. I want a dishwasher, so fucking bad! £200. No, I'm not at all lazy, in fact, as unbelievable as it may sound, I love doing the washing up, but doing it 4-5 times daily, plus washing my hands after each nappy change and food preparing, bathing Lileeva, have a shower myself, brushing my teeth... My hands are ruined! They could easily belong to a 40+ year old, and they hurt like hell! No amount of moisturisers help either, and Lee wouldn't do the dishes only if I ask him. But I usually don't because 1) he leaves them greasy 2) I'm tired of always pointing out that he lives here too aka responsible to do a minimum amount of housework. He just gets shitty and moody with me, taking it like I don't have anything better to do than nagging him, so I rather keep quite and suck it up.
Oh, did I mention my/our laptop is on it's arse too?! New battery and charger are needed, Dell made (£100+) cause the replicas don't work. We tried. Plus it's keyboard isn't working properly, so might be wiser just to buy a new PC or laptop instead.
So that's me, in need of at least £3,000 to have peace of mind. Plus we haven't yet talked about a spa weekend, a holiday, a personal trainer or just a lovely coupley weekend including cinema and dinner plus drinks without worrying about how much we spend.
And that's me, age 26, talking about finances and pension. Life you make me feel old!
Could be worse though. Have no debts at least. (Knocking on wood quicksmart.)

Monday, 28 January 2013


Lileeva took her first step yesterday! Twice for Lee and once for me! She now usually stands still for a moment or two then throws herself onto our beanbags. I also caught her trying to walk when she thinks I'm not watching. Bet she's rehearsing for the big premier.
She also said 'kitty' loud and clear twice after each other, instead just of the usual 'khh' sound.

Then we went to see her big cousin Kyra on her 10th birthday. Lileeva was playing with cars, while her little cousin Alfie was pushing along his toy Henry hoover and toy pram with a doll in it. Enough said haha!

Saturday, 26 January 2013


Things are looking up a bit.
Lee went for an interview within his company and he got the job he applied for! Not entirely, but he is on a 6 months contract, which can always be renewed. I hope. So that's it, we will be living a 'normal' life from now on. Meaning: My boy be working Monday to Friday 09am-06pm like a 'normal' person. No more crazy hours and no more lack of family and friends time.
This already has cheered him up, but I'm sure it will do good on him. And on us for that matter.
We've been having one of those off times lately. Again. Lack of communication and whatever else it comes with. Anyways, it is all sorted now thankfully. We just need to pay a bit more attention to our other halves instead of just living next to each other.
Hopefully from now on everything will stay as it is or only improve.


We went to visit Nicole and Virág on Thursday and damn didn't we have so much fun!
I originally only planned on staying for a few hours, going for lunch and be home by 07pm ish to put Lileeva to bed. Let's just say I asked Lee to book me a car from Nicole's for 1130pm!
We had a drink for being mums. Then we cheered for the future. Then we cheered for the past good old times. Then we had another one for the future. And a few more, just to be safe.
A cider, a rosé and copious amount of rum and cokes after I can't say I'm entirely able to remember of the details between 08pm and 02am.
Lileeva and Virág didn't mind us though, they were playing along nicely all day, had a bath together then we put them down. Lileeva was a bit fussy, she's a really bad sleeper when it comes to snoozing anywhere but her own cot or pram.

We also had a good old chat about our relationships and how our lives have changed in the past few years. I used to hang out with Nicole and a bunch of other Hungarians when was squatting 3-4 years ago. Those were my early-twenty party years. Say no more. Comparing to that we both live utterly different lives now, obviously, but very similar to each others'. Kind of amusing.
Anyways, we had bit of a blast from the past! More of these to come I hope. Maybe with a little less alcohol though.

Wednesday, 23 January 2013


Haha I've got a very antisocial child here. Or simply a lazy one.
Lileeva is only having one nap daily now, usually after lunch. Today she had one after breakfast, stayed awake for a couple of hours, had lunch and has been giving me the tired signs since. So, being a good mummy I laid her in the cot, shut the door and is she asleep? No way, she's chatting away with her teddies!

I've been missing out on baby groups lately, but I do not particularly mind as Lileeva's still having her daily 'adventures', in different forms. For example she spent the entire weekend at her nanny's due to my birthday drink up and feast with the boys. Then I took her to Danielle's on Monday and Lee took her out yesterday as well. We kind of had to, because the history repeats itself.
Exactly a year ago I spent my days in this flat, decorating and making the most out of this shithole the council gave us. This week they are out and fire proofing every single flat in the block, which means new smoke alarms, new doors, unbearable noise and awful lot of mess. I refused to gloss the new plain doors because all of them were colourful before the change over and that's how I want them to be again. So that's me, using every opportunity I can get, painting and decorating. (Bit of a photo reminder of our home in Post 184. and Post 201.)
Back to the baby groups. The one I went to the other Friday was quite nice and chilled out. My only problem with it was that the parents seemed to form a small group and I didn't feel welcome in it. At all. In fact, just to try and start up a friendly conversation I asked one of the older ladies who was there with her grandson, whether or not she was going there for long. She laughed, called out for one of the midwives' attention and said: 'Joyce! Haha Joyce! Did you hear this?! She was asking if I was coming here for long! Hah, yes darling, I was one of the first people coming here when this place opened, I brought all my kids and grandkids here.' And really, you sour old hag, where the fuck am I supposed to know that? I respect the elder as long as they respect me too. I just ignored her from then on. Twat.
On the other hand, on Wednesday's hectic group I met with a couple of nice mums. One of them has only 10 months between her daughters! It made me utterly broody and a little jealous too.

I'm now having mixed feelings about having another child. I do want to be pregnant again, and do want Lileeva to have a sibling, mainly because I hated not having anyone. But at the same time I'm scared I won't be able to focus on Lileeva 100% and won't be able to give her all the love and attention she needs.
And frankly quite annoying when Nicole, whom I'm seeing or talk to weekly, keep asking every time we speak, whether or not I'm pregnant yet. Putting me off much, I feel under pressure, like it's expected me to be pregnant again, very soon. Will have a word with her tomorrow...
By the way I'm 26 as of last Thursday. In reality I kept telling everyone I was 26 last year, not sure why. My mind never wanted to accept the fact that I was 'only' 25 and a mum, I suppose. I had a really good time, both on my actual birthday and on the weekend, however birthdays won't ever be the same again. Which is absolutely fine with me though.
I had a lovely time, got awesome presents, wicked drunk get together with the boys, plus Lee baked me my all time favourite cake.
But, after being through one, I find that Lileeva's birthday excited me more than my own. Making it a perfect surprise, ripping the presents open with her and watching her stuff her face with the cake.
Gay cliché mummy speech, I know.

Thursday, 10 January 2013


Lileeva learned to pop the Sudocrem open which, of course, resulted her entire face, hands and mouth covered in the cream. She seems to like the taste of it as keep going back for it. Nutty child.
She stood previously without support, but this morning she wanted to stand by herself before sitting down. This makes a huge difference.
I took her to the 'hectic' baby group yesterday and I suppose that's the main reason of her behaviour. It's a 0-2 years drop-in, and apart from the baby corner (0-12 months), no children are laying or crawling, in fact apart from her, all of them were walking. I don't at all mind, but here comes that she rather learn from other children than adults and she seems to mind being the black sheep.
I've also found out that unlike other groups or 1 o'clock clubs, they charge nothing, only a small donation (Anywhere from 50p.) towards the fruit they give out after each session. In fact, they have coffee and tea put out in the waiting area. Perfect!
So after this lovely experience I thought I'd look into this nursery business. Better sooner than later and I'm quite clueless on the subject.

As I figured every 3 and 4 year old entitled a part time, 15 hours a week free nursery/pre-school education. I heard it's advisable to put the child's name down a year in advance to be sure that she gets a place, at least in one of the desired nurseries. No matter whether it's within a Children's Centre, within a primary school or a community one. Every children able to start the term coming after their 3rd birthday which for Lileeva will be the one starting after the 1st of January 2015. I know it's quite a long way to go but I want to make sure she'll get a place, preferably in the closest nursery we have in the area. One of them is in the Children's Centre I'm visiting regularly, the other is within the primary school just round the corner from us, which I'm hoping will be her school later on in life by the way. There's a community one which I'm able to apply to already and another school nursery a bit further away. That's all four for now, I'm still waiting three of their replies about which is the earliest I can put Lileeva's name down.
The hunting has begun, let's hope for the best.

Tuesday, 8 January 2013


Those nasty poos resulted in Lileeva's first ever serious nappy rash. It isn't as bad as the images on Google (Fucking hell! They are something else!) but all her bits are red and sore with a few burnt, spot like abscesses. She's keep crying after each poo as well as when I change her. Feel so sorry for the little chops, but can't do much apart from wiping her with chamomile and giving her lots of nappy free time.
Speaking of crying; She woke me this morning around 0700am moaning, after doing a poop. I obviously got up and changed her, but it took a while and since she was in pain, she started on crying more. Here I would state, she was not screaming, she was crying. About half an hour later our new next door neighbour has woken up too, continuously banging on the wall between us, showing his/her disapproval of things.
Now firstly, I know it's an 'old lady' thing to do, but I have to admit, I myself too bang on walls, ceilings or floors if there is a high intensity noise coming from my other neighbours, pre- or post- acceptable hours. (Let's say after 1100pm and before 0630am.) But I'm talking about them watching telly, super-loud music, walking in heels or playing instruments. I'm talking about noise they create by their own fucking will. I have to bare my downstairs neighbour's kid's screaming every single night past midnight and I never once took it as an offense, let alone banged on the floor.
We are talking about a child here, who cries when she's in pain, and banging on the wall does everything but calms her down. They probably don't have kids, or I go further, one of those parents that just don't care. If they'd be any different, they'd know that hearing your own child cry is one of the most disheartening thing for mum, whom by the way is up straight away, trying to solve her baby's problem.
Hence: My new neighbours are cunts. I probably would be more understanding on the issue if it happened during the middle of the night, and not at 0730am on a weekday. (They have been in all day today, I hear their telly, the benefit pounce lowlifes.)
If it happens again, there will be war. Mark my words.

Anyway, I had my joyous mummy moments for today as well. The first was early morning, when I changed Lileeva and gave her a cheeky bottle to knock her back out (I wanted to go back to bed, yes.) she looked very happy and calm, giving me big smiles. Aww! Secondly, Lee feels awful for a while now (Serious case of man flu aka he's on death's door. Cough cough.) and by this morning one of his eyes gave up and developed conjunctivitis, so I made him a massive hangover-cure bacon sandwich, pampered his pink eye with chamomile and went to the GP with him. Thirdly, after cleaning the entire flat yesterday, this afternoon I re-organised the kitchen cupboards for pots and pans, they are nice and tidy now and all my cooking and baking stuff fits perfectly. (Again, scares me how much satisfaction these tidy ups give me.) I'm also baking a honey-oaty bread at the moment and it smells beautiful!
Oh dear, the day has come. Lileeva just woke up from her nap and turned the telly on for the first ever time. Not so proud mummy moment.

So I was preparing my stuck-up speech of Lileeva's awesome bum-behaviour when...
I gave her a good 30 minutes nappy free time before bath while watching her sleepy time telly, she was doing amazing, until the very last 10 minutes. At least I know now what to expect when potty training. Sigh. At least it was a firm dough, over a diarrhoea like nastiness.

Sunday, 6 January 2013


Now I'm not at all squeamish but today has done me in. Lately Lileeva been producing some nasty poos, all over the place, sticky diarrhoea ones. That alone wouldn't be a matter, cause that what baby crap is like at the early stages anyway, but since we are talking about a toddler who's mostly eating 'human' (Adult.) food the smell and state of them not the most pleasing. And, for sure, Lileeva still hates her bum changed or staying still for a matter of fact. Add it up.
I had to deal with two of these joyful gifts today in a matter of 5 hours. While I was scrubbing the shit of my arms the second time, thought I'd give my little-big girl bit of a nappy free time. Bam, she peed on the floor. I'm thankful of choosing a laminate over carpet as a choice of flooring last year when we moved in.
I really wish this winter would last forever and so I wouldn't have to worry about the potty training that will be coming with the warmer weather.

Nicole was over with Virág (Hungarian for 'flower'.) yesterday. She's coming up to 7 months and about the same size as Lileeva but chubbier! She is adorable and smiley on oh do I miss those times when I could just leave my baby on the floor and didn't have to chase her around haha! However, I can't really recall the 7 month old Lileeva therefore comparing them to each other would be absolutely pointless. It's a 'No!' anyway, since all babies are different... All I remember -without having to peek in my blog- is Lileeva being able to sit at this age whereas Virág can not, but hating being on her stomach which Virág seems to enjoy. Weight wise they are kind of the same I think, still, handling Virág was scary on a way that I had to be extra careful, not only because she's someone else's baby but because she felt so fragile. Deadweight maybe?
Either way, another reassurance that my girl is tiny and petite! I don't look at it as a bad thing at all though, in fact I quite like it.
Nicole also mentioned she sometimes gives Virág chocolate and that when she stares at her with puppy eyes. I don't know, it kind of scared me into thinking I might be a health freak with Lileeva? I kind of barked at everyone who gave her sweets before the age of one and I still try and keep her processed sugar intake as low as possible. Yes, I do give her a jammy toast or a peanut buttery hot cross bun for breakfast every once in a while, and yes, if I make cakes she has a little pinch of them but I rather have her eating fruits and healthy snacks like yoghurt pots and baby crisps/rice cakes. When it comes to her, for example I have only used honey as a sweetener in her porridge or tea previously, no sugar. I also make sure she especially eats healthy the day before she goes out with Lee or her grandparents who we know, doing their jobs properly and spoil her rotten haha!
I'm wondering, am I taking this a step too far?
It's such a fine line, because me being careful and trying to make the healthy decision could in the future make her become obsessed and develop an unhealthy relationship with food. Same as if I let her eat whatever she fancied.
Oh the responsibilities of being a mum...

Friday, 4 January 2013


Happy belated New Year!
No resolutions for 2013. My reverse strategy seemed to be working for 2012, the first year in a long time when I didn't make any resolutions regarding... Anything, really. And the first year I actually managed 'doing good'. Quit my addictions like alcohol and cigarette, became fitter, healthier, lost weight and pulled myself together mentally too. And, of course, spent some quality time with my little family, built a home together, settled down and so on.
With January Lileeva either hit a growth spurt, became ill or just doing a serious catch up after the festive late nights, but all she wants to do is sleep. Not complaining though, I happily have her sleeping 14-16 hours throughout the night and another couple during the day. In fact, a little growing wouldn't harm her, especially if it'd strengthen those legs. Missy shall walk soon! Here is an article about toddlers and napping. Another reassurance that I'm doing everything just fine with her. (Yay!)
She did start to stand by herself, but only when she forgets about doing it. For example leaning on the sofa, grabbing a couple of toys, letting the sofa go while investigating them, realises what is she doing, panics and leans back to the sofa. She's also been trying to stand up without pulling herself up on anything, but I reckon we have to wait for that a little longer. It's all about balance issues, right?!
She's very good with words though, she said 'square' to Kali yesterday. A one off thing she wouldn't repeat for me, but it's all in there. She baby-talks a lot, in fact, she baby-talks 24/7.
Even though Lileeva looks like she's coming down with a snotty cold, I'm still trying to take her out daily. Or at least make her have a little adventure each day. I'm planning on taking her to the baby drop-in on Wednesdays by my house (Post 284.), and to a new group on Fridays too. It's called tiny tots to two and held in the Children's Centre where I used to take her to baby massage. Have a feeling it will be a smaller, more familiar atmosphere. Was going to check it out today in fact, but Lileeva had a lay in (Again!) so I just took her to the swings over the park instead.
So that's two days out of the seven so far. Hopefully I'll be able to see Kali on a regular basis as well as my friend Nicole and her daughter whom just moved back to London a few weeks ago. Tomorrow will be the first time I get to see her little daughter, bare excited! Bet I'll be super broody.
My whole point is to try and make Lileeva's days exciting, whether that means taking her out, having a friend around, watching different cartoons or playing with different toys. For this exact reason I've hidden half of her toys yesterday (The ones she has for months and months now and blatantly bored of.), leaving out only a few that she barely saw lately. And she loves them! Will look out for the signs of her getting bored of them, that's when I'll swap the toys around again. Also planning on purchasing Duplo like big building bricks and toy cars. Mummy's girl, they were my favourites too when I was young.

Edit 06/01/2013:
Yes it was indeed only a growth spurt that sadly only lasted for a a few days. This morning Lileeva was giving an hour long speech, holding a conference for her teddies from 0630am. Still, I actually love to wake up for her chatting away instead of crying. It's only the time...