A week or so ago I had bit of a break down thing going on.
I have trouble sleeping nowadays again, tired but unable to sleep more than 5 hours, keep waking up, and only tired and able to have a short nap early noon, never night or day time. Suppose it could be something to do with working nights for many years and now sitting on my arse, doing nothing for about a month now. And surely the builders... Oh and the bloody fat kid who keeps running about upstairs. He must be at least the size of an elephant. Who never sits down. Ever.
My main issue the other day was exactly this, the doing nothing thing, but luckily I have Lee who I could talk it through with. I started to feel horrible for not seeing Lee much cause of his overtimes and the same time I'm home all day, every day, watching telly, not working, not earning any money and soon I'll be out of savings and won't be able to afford my part of our rent, shopping and bills. Even though if I was looking for a job, who would hire me for only 5 months and would willing to pay me a year maternity on top?!
So today I pulled myself together finally and made myself worth for living, on a way that I started to look for benefits; What kind of am I able to get and so. Even if I was able to get like £50 a week for time being, I'd feel better for being able to give some money to Lee.
Also, we are going to go to the council soon and apply for a cheap flat as the council provides this sooner or later to single (Well... Technically I am, until I get married, I suppose?!) mothers.
As now I have some time, I'll have a look into something I always wanted to do: Take an NVQ course. I mean, I have way too much free time in my hands, I'm bored, and if it's free as I think it is, why not give it a try, have a qualification, and in a year and a half time go, and find a proper job at last.