I've re-read my entire blog in the past days.
It was good for pulling it together a little, both language and outlook wise. Also, since I'm having a serious baby brain syndrome lately, I wanted to check whether or not I posted about the same thing twice, and so. I'm doing O.K. so far.
It's weird though, how much I've changed throughout the months, with the breaking point of around 20 weeks in my pregnancy. I think this is where I unconsciously but clearly started to bond with the baby, when my hormones started to kick in, and with these the attitude of my blog has changed too. It all became real, even though it's still yet unreal. Does it make sense?!
Reading it from the beginning made me realise how naive and unknowing I was about everything including pregnancy, babies and everything else they involve, like benefits, housing and so. I was absolutely lost and clueless (Post 58.), and can only hope, if any of my friends will be in the same situation in the future, and in need of help, they will find it here among my posts.
I find myself well informed by now, and happy, cause I know it's something, no one can take away from me. All in all, I'm proud of maturing in the past months as much as I did, and becoming a responsible adult (And hopefully a good mother figure?!) who's willing to do everything for her family, instead of the party girl I was, not long ago.
This doesn't mean I wouldn't anymore want to go out, it's just that the priority has changed.
In fact, during the summer with all my friends being on at least on one open-air psychedelic festival, that's when I felt how much I miss going out. More likely cause of the atmosphere, rather than getting absolutely mash up like a pear. I miss dancing under the burning sun, miss seeing random people smiling at each other with world peace in their eyes, miss getting lost among the tents in pitch black, cause of not having a torch, and even miss not being able to sleep cause of the loud music and bugs.
Obviously not planning on hitting up a festival next summer straight away, well, definitely not a week, or more than a day long one, anyway. Don't think I could and wanted to stay away from my baby girl for that long.
And, who knows, in a few years time I might even be taking her with me for one of these colourful hippie parties.