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Monday, 18 February 2013


Sleep deprivation makes my life hell currently.
Not really Lileeva related, maybe on terms of having to pull myself through each day and she might experiencing a moody mummy lately. I'm trying my best against it though.
I learnt to accept my earplug addiction and the fact that I never will be the person who goes to bed at 09pm and wakes up fresh as a daisy, ready for life at 05am.
But the fact that I'm unable to sleep next to Lee is ridiculous! I can't even blame him for it, since he's sleeping pretty much on the edge, while I'm taking over the bed, plus stealing one of his pillows and most of the duvet too. It's coming up two and a half year since we've been together and I only slept in the same bed at the same time as him for 9 months, throughout my pregnancy. Beforehand I had my own apartment, and after having Lileeva I had to transfer to a 'day person' and I'm finding it very difficult to adapt again.
I know it will get easier. It just has to.
But as of now, I've pretty much not slept for 2 weeks now. I go to bed a couple of hours before Lee, laying there still awake when he comes in. I drop off around midnight, just to wake up at 03am for my back aching. Or not being able to get comfortable. I obviously don't want to fidget a lot, in case I woke him up, but this just makes me even more conscious about how uncomfortable I am. If I did drop back off, I either have crazy dreams, or Lileeva's cough wakes me or in fact, Lee's snoring does. Either way, I wake up every hour from then on until 07am when I finally get up.
I could and did have afternoon naps with Lileeva, but that just resulted me staying awake for even longer and sleeping less during the night.
Therefore my new technique is sucking it up (Just when I was trying to cut down on coffee, obviously.), and after a couple of days I'm so utterly exhausted that I do pass out around 10pm and only wake up at 05am. That, or sleeping on the sofa in the living room, where the cat never leaves me alone, and one of the streetlights shines straight into my face.
It has to get easier.

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