323.

Alright, so I know I've been missing in action, but I just felt the necessity to pop in and say, once again, without any bitterness or sarcasm, just like a stone cold fact; Hey boy, this is my everyday life.
Long story short, I haven't had 'baby free' time for a long while. I mean months. Time for myself. To update my blog(s), to have a long soaked bath, to do my nails, to organise and tidy bits around the flat, to look into very adult and important stuff like home swapping, nurseries, college, tax and so on.
Plus the issues of lately Lee not taking his part in parenting seriously again.
Hence why I asked him to take Lileeva out tomorrow for the day.
Now, he wanted to have a few, chilled out drinks tonight with me, which, to be perfectly honest, I wasn't too keen on, because I try to cutbl down on alcohol intake again. Either way, I agreed, and have had a few, after putting Lileeva to bed.
The time approached around 10 pm and Lee said he was going to bed, then and there, without doubt. I askes him why is that, considering he can stay up late(r) any other occasions. His reply was simple and straightforward: Because he'll have Lileeva all day, among lots of other, screaming, shouting, happy kids, and he didn't want to be tired.
Simple as that.
He -or anyone not having a child for that fact, who thinks a stay-at-home-mum's life is easy- never should wonder why we are, mums, are exhausted every day around 07pm, why is bath time a relief for us, why do we want to just sit and mong above a nice cup of tea or hot chocolate for an hour, and pass out at the end of each day, 11pm the latest.
That's our lives, that's what we chose, that's what we're committed to, that's what we're like and that's what we love.
And I'm grateful Lee is finally having a taste from it too, amongst his other, work related commitments.
(Side note: We have had another shaky time behind us, which I probably would've written about in details, if I wasn't rather focusing on keeping us together. It has passed though, luckily, and I can say, I'm 100% grateful again for the family I've got. They're truly the best!)

322.

Last weekend's camping was wicked!

Lee and his workmate Steve went to the campsite after their shift on Friday evening, while us girls joined them on Saturday afternoon. It was possibly the worst timing though, as was it just wouldn't stop raining all day. And I mean storm like proper rain. Needless to say, we got soaked. The camp wasn't even set up properly by the boys either, as they got drunk the night before. Ah well.

So our first night weren't amazing, but I enjoyed myself with a company of an entire bottle of Southern Comfort and Steve's brand new camping table and chair set, which I managed to fall onto and collapse it. Three times. Ho hum.
Lileeva slept surprisingly good in the tent next to me. I unfortunately can't say the same, but I'm slowly getting used to being non-stop sleep deprived anyway.

Sunday we were mainly wandering around in the forest, built our campsite properly and cooked. And drank. That was the official night we all supposed to get hammered, but I couldn't due to Saturday's madness. Lee, however, got smashed very quick and fell through the now fixed garden table, head first, and broke it proper haha!

Monday us three we went for a last walk, while waiting for Steve and Sabrina to wake up, then started to pack things up, pretty much straight away. Left around 02pm ish.
All in all, I enjoyed myself, and I'm pretty sure Lileeva did as well. She loved running off in the woods, picking flowers and berries and, of course, jumping in muddy puddles like Peppa.
And this weekend, we are off to Rome.

321.

I really have no excuse why not posting, apart from being lazy. I usually super drained by the evening and can't seem to be able to pull my thoughts together after putting Lileeva to bed.
During her daily naps I usually either do my training routine or have a kip myself.
Speaking of which, she's been sleeping a lot in the past few weeks, she's probably having another growth spurt.
She is a fussy eater, but eats well. Also a copycat, which comes handy when teaching her things. She's very independent, wanting to do everything by herself. She is stubborn too. Not sure where she gets these from. Cough.
I do still have my down moments when I think I'm a terrible mum, but coming across how some other people raise their kids keeping me reassured of the opposite. Alright, yes, I know parents whom take their children out many times daily... I'm not one of them, and to be fair, I started to see on Lileeva that she slowly starts to get bored of the nearby parks and playgrounds too. However, it still doesn't stop me to provide her a daily 'adventure' though.
But there are these parents that don't even think of taking their kids out to the park, playground or even to their own garden! Buying garden toys is out of question too. What the hell?! We only have a tiny balcony, but made the best out of it with artificial grass, a bench, a tiny paddling pool and toys and the door is always open for her. None of us made to be between the same four walls 24/7.
So to speak, I try not to beat myself up if I have a chillaxing day spent indoors a couple of days a week. Tops.
This Saturday Lee is taking her to see his aunt, next weekend she'll be staying with Lee's mum because we are off out of London for our anniversary. On bank holiday weekend we all be going to the woods for camping with Lee's workmate and his fiance, then afterwards us three are off to Rome and Budapest. We took her to Cornwall last month, and last week we went to Essex for a day to see my friend and her son, and also, I try to get around to my sister-in-law's with her weekly.
Considering all this, I think we are doing parenting well and making our toddler's life as interesting as possible.

320.

Went away for a spontaneous family mini holiday to Cornwall earlier this week.
We stayed at Hayle but visited St. Ives and Land`s End too and traveled through Penzance.
It was amazing to say the least. The weather was beautiful, the sea is breathtaking, the people are the kindest I`ve met lately. After our 5 days of heaven, arriving back to Lilevrpool Street on a Friday afternoon peek time, where if you`re lucky people just look through you, buts most likely kick your pram/suitcase/feet was pure disgust. The combination of that, and the five long, hot and airless hours spent on the train made me almost beak down in tears. I came to realise how much I actually hate London and not sure if I wanted to stay here on the long haul.

The holiday itself was nice, even though you can`t really relax when you have a child. Lileeva was an angel when she decided to be content and well behaved, but was a monster when she got bored and overtired. Which happened quite easily unfortunately. This put Lee on edge, and that put me on edge.
We didn`t argue much, but I did have the amp of having to look after Lileeva the majority of times, after all that`s what I`m doing at home too. I`m still not sure though Lee realises how much being a stay-at-home mum sucks the life out of you on a daily basis.
Anyways, we did have our wonderful moments, and for that, the trip definitely worth it.

On Monday, my friend Sanyi, who now lives in Plymouth was waiting for us in the train station. After packing our luggage we ended up in a pub`s beer garden which was looking right at the sandy beach and had a playground for kids. Perfect.

Tuesday we took the bus to St. Ives. It reminded me of Edinburgh with it`s highly touristy atmosphere, tiny beautiful streets and the sea view. Only the weather was better, obviously. Met with Sanyi later and had a mini BBQ outside our chalet. Was delicious.

On Wednesday we took the Cornwall tour bus from St. Ives. Visited St. Michael`s Mount which is a castle on top of a mountain in the sea, which you can get to by walk if the tide is low or by boat when it`s high. Then we went to Land`s End, the very corner of the UK. Just beautiful. Words can`t really describe.

Thursday was our lazy day, spent on the sandy beach. Lileeva didn`t really enjoy the sea, but Lee got over his fear and went in all the way, swimming. He got quite burnt too, while I scrubbed up a nice little tan myself.

All in all, it felt like we were on some tropical island, anywhere but within the UK`s boarders. It was magical, and we are definitely going back again at some point.

319.

Wow.
Today morning I woke up half an hour later than usual, went for a pee, took my medications, chugged down a bottle of water, made a cup of coffee, sat down and turn my (New and amazing.) laptop on. Sounds pretty ordenary, right?! Wrong, when you are a parent.
This is how the start of each of my days look like: Get waken up by the baby monitor, at least 5-10 minutes before Lee`s alarm would go off, rush to the living room, sort it out (Candles away, toys out, cartoons on.), get Lileeva out from her cot, make her breakfast while putting the kettle on, chugging my meds down with the water, feeding the under-my-foot annoyingly meowing cat and preparing Lee`s lunch. By when I could sit down to enjoy my coffee, Lileeva is usually done with her breakfast (And all over me.) and the cat is done with her usual morning poo so I have to clean the litter. And I still didn`t have my morning pee...
The point is: This was a nice, peaceful morning. One of a kind.

It`s television parenting day ahead us, which I hate, but I have to stay in all day, waiting for a massive delivery I need to sign for and can arrive and time between 8am-6pm. Thank you Argos for being precise with your timing. I was going to get a drawing board for Lileeva for days like this but was out of stock everywhere nearby. Contemplating buying a scooter for her too, I know she`s yet little, but is very much interested in them.
We had a few nice days over the park lately. Not particularly on the super sunny days, more likely on the warm but cloudy ones, when the playground wasn`t crowded. I like to just leave the pram in the middle and let Lileeva run about, be as independent as she wants to be and be able to keep an eye on her.

She is also saying `poo poo` now, after each time she does one. She sometimes even brings the potty out or just points at it, but wouldn`t sit on it, just when she feels like watching her cartoons from the throne. Slowly but surely I suppose. (No, still didn`t look into how to potty train properly.)
On this note, we are giving up the reusable Bambino Mio nappies. They served us well for a year and a half, but potty training (And life in general.) is sure as hell easier with disposable ones. Will save them though, for our future children, if there`ll be any more.

318.

Lileeva says 'Morning!' now.
Wish hungarian was a little easier so she could say a few words on that language too. But blatantly, 'morning' ('moanin') is easier than 'joreggelt' ('yo-rag-guilt') haha! Soon hopefully though...
I put a photo out of my mum and nan next to Lee's parents' picture, just so Lileeva looks at them daily too, and hopefully in September when we're going for a visit she won't only recognise but will too remember them. She keeps pointing at the photo and kissing it, so sure she has some kind of memories of them?!
I found out recently that one of our family friend is pregnant with a girl, so I've given out most of Lileeva's old stuff that I were saving for baby number #2. It just doesn't seem to happen right now (I'm getting fairly regular periods again actually.) and they were taking over lots of space, so this seemed to be the best option.

I've been absent lately again, because there is nothing significant to write about and I don't want to flood this blog with personal issues, but here's bit of an explanation.
Basically once in a year me and Lee seem to have this massive argument mainly due to him not talking to me on a regular basis, letting things pile up in him, and wanting to solve them with splitting or taking a few weeks break. Then he changes his mind, decides to stay and everything is fine for another year. It's like he gets his period once a year and becomes super moody and aggressive instead of opening his mouth and communicate with me on a daily basis.
Also, I'm pretty sure he thinks I became a bore because I don't anymore get off-my-tits-crawling-home-the-morning drunk whenever I've got a chance, unlike him. Having an obsessive personality is hard, but finally I'm managing to put all my energy into positive things, such as health. Whether or not it's boring for some.
That's about it, going into further details isn't even important.
So it was bit downer of a time, hence my lack of activity here.
All is good now though.

317.

18 months today. Wow. So after this one-and-a-half-year milestone we only count the years, officially. It's going too quick!
I know I probably should post more often, but I can't seem to find any outstanding subjects lately. No motivation either, after the long days chasing Lileeva around. She is learning and growing right before our eyes, dropping certain interests like cat food and plug sockets and picking up new ones, like cleaning cupboard, jumping in puddles and practicing walking on stairs, instead of climbing them.
She's also very independent, hardly wanting to hold our hands when walking down the street and honestly, this freaks me out. I obviously pick her up when crossing the road and holding her when we are not in a traffic-dead area, but still.
I met a mum in a baby group and her 18 months old was talking! Proper talking, like 'Mum, come with me!' I was beyond shocked! I however always knew Lileeva will take her time, being brought up in a bilingual household probably isn't easy.
Her association is very good though. saying 'Peppa' when Peppa Pig comes on, 'bubbles' when going in the bath, 'Hello!' when we meet someone, and she wipes her nose straight away if she finds a tissue lying around haha!
I'm slacking on the potty training business... What if I'll be doing it wrong?! Not sure why does it freak me out so much though, I mean general parenting should be scarier than potty training, right?! Somebody give me a pep talk please!
Small and petite as she is, it was time again, so we invested in a new wardrobe for her. Lileeva is slowly becoming a right little lady.

316.

Oh dear, been a while.
Could make up excuses but in reality I've just been busy catching up with life. I've started my new workout routine at the beginning of the month and it makes me feel superhuman. Also started to practice my hopefully future job. I need a lot more to learn, but damn, considering things, I'm good in what I'm doing, so here's hope.
Ain't going to lie, the weather being nicer is responsible for my lifted mood too. April seems to be a really good month so far.
Lileeva is very sturdy on her feet now. She used to throw a screaming fit when I tried to make her walk a couple of steps from the pram to the swings, she must've been intimidated by the big, outside area, regardless her being able to walk safe and sound indoors. Anyways, she's running about, exploring the playground now. The swings and slides are her favourites.
Lileeva is slowly outgrowing both her clothes and toys, so it's another investment ahead of us. She's still obsessed with Peppa Pig but started to care about Ben & Holly too. They are on the list alongside In the Night Garden..., cars and blocks.
She isn't only getting taller but damn her hair grows so fast! It's curly/wavy at the back, not sure which one of us she's gotten it from. Probably Lee.
Right, I said I'll be challenging us with the nice weather approaching, so I think I give myself a couple of more weeks of educating on potty training then it's time for that too. Sigh.
They grow up so fast!

315.

We booked our Rome accomodation on Monday night. It took a while to choose a good enough place.
We had a budget, obviously, which wasn't the lowest by the way.
I wanted a central location so we didn't have to take public transport daily. The weather's going to be amazing and we will still have the pram so are planning to walk to pretty much everywhere. I wasn't too fussed about having a pool or included breakfast. However, we definitely in need of an extra cot, because Lileeva fidgets a lot so there is a chance she would roll off of the bed while asleep. I also wanted to have either an en suite or private bathroom, which is, as surprising as it may sounds, isn't the easiest to find. What we choose isn't an apartment, so doesn't have a kitchenette, but hopefully will have a fridge in the room where we can store some soya milk for Lileeva's night time bottles and well, for some morning coffees for me. It's located about 5 minutes from the Colosseum and has bit of a hippie atmosphere. Was surprised about Lee liking it too haha!
It wasn't expensive at all, in fact around the lower end of the price range, free cancellation in case we changed our minds plus all fees to be payed on our arrival. The manager has already contacted us within a day after our booking, offering a cheap-ass cab service from and to the airport, answering all our questions (Yes, they have a cot and a fridge in each room.) and providing a link for the weather forecast! We seem to hit the jackpot.

On another note, I'm still struggling with Lileeva's terrible twos. I'm simply unable to distract her every single time she throws a tantrum, which is mainly attention seeking anyway, or a fit due to taking something dangerous off from her. Sigh.
She keeps proving how clever she is as well. I don't just big her up because she's mine, others have mentioned it too, plus I see children around her age in baby groups quite often and they seem to be fooled easier than her. Example? Since she likes to chew on wires and playing with my phone, when I put it on charge I have a 'secret' hiding place for it... I had, for about a month. Now every time I for example let her play with my phone, when she got bored, she nicely places it to its 'secret' place. I never use that space, unless I'm charging my phone because well, it's super out of my way. We are also unable to play magic tricks with her anymore, because she instantly knows where to look for her 'magically disappeared' toy, regardless it's being under the sofa or behind our backs, she just knows.
Also, Lileeva's hair is long enough now to tie up in a pony tail, plus she nicked one of my horror themed hairband, with an eyeball on the bow. The pride of raising such an open minded child!
I love her so much!

314.

Hello period! One less thing to worry about, woohoo!
I'm really not surprised about the confusion my body had go through the past years. All the horrible things I put in it for years (Unhealthy food, alcohol, nicotine... Just to name a few.), then suddenly stopping a couple of years back, just to have the healthiest pregnancy I could possibly have. Then the high hormone dosed thyroid medication and contraception. Then the lifestyle change (Healthy food, less alcohol, no nicotine.), then withdrawing the contraception, then starting to exercise... No wonder my system is like 'What the fuck, woman?!'
Anyway, mother nature is striking, and I'm happy about it for once.
I can sleep fairly alright lately as well. I've given up on diet coke and ta-daah my sleep has improved. I drank copious amount of that stuff, no really, I have.
Just to rub it in; I feel super accomplished today as well. I finally got my arse on gear, stopped making up excuses, put my negative attitude aside and invested in things that will help me in my future career. The rest of my tiny savings is to be spent on my health and that oh-so-mentioned new workout routine. Being a superstitious chump, I don't want to jinx neither of the above, hence the reason I'm talking in riddles instead of stating what job I'll be going for and what workout I'll be doing.
I'm really determined and happy with myself, yes, regardless this bloody snow storm at the end of March!