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Monday, 21 March 2011


I was always a bit weird about pregnancy. Ever since Massive Attack's Teardrop embryo has scared and disgusted me to death! It just looks surreal and... Not right.

Also, my results from the clinic -any kind of treatment- always came back unclear. Which once was positive the other time came back negative, so I never knew where I stood. Maybe cause of the previous (Not existent.) accidents, maybe cause I  had the sixth sense of it, but somehow I knew I won't be able to have a baby.
I was right on a way that it never happened even though we never used protection with my actual boyfriends. It might sounds foolish but I knew if it ever on earth would happen it'd be from the right man, in the right time. I'm not saying I was happy every time I was a couple of days late, and the Boots tests turned out negative, in fact there were times when I broke down on tears, but later on and sometimes well after the actual relationship ended, I always realised it just wasn't mean to happen.
It sounds cheesy, but as soon as I met and got together with Lee, I knew this relationship will be different. And it is. We had this baby conversation at the very beginning, and he was perfectly understanding and fine with not having children in the future.
We agreed, and weren't planning. After all we both are young and just about to get our lives sorted and on track.

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