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Friday, 5 October 2012


I haven't had my period for months, due to my contraception implant. Not complaining though!
Since our holiday, I've been craving certain foods, drinks, feeling constantly hungry, which, fairly, could be from the weather. Grey, cold weather always makes me want to curl up on the sofa with a hot chocolate, cake and a book. I'll be having a long winter ahead haha!
Then this morning the cat woke me up early, I went for a wee, laid back down and had this weird, twitching muscle in my stomach, beside the hunger pains.
Mind that I did put on weight on our holiday, even though I've lost a tremendous amount lately.
So I couldn't help but wonder... And no matter how broody I am still, the thought had freaked me out. Mainly cause I know, Lee wouldn't want another little one. Not just now anyway. His possible reaction worried me, the thought of abortion terrified me, and even if we decided to keep it, how on earth would we be able to afford it?
These thoughts, worries and a bit of hope were twisting twirling in my mind and I couldn't get back to sleep.
The test was negative.

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