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Saturday, 18 June 2011


Might have mentioned earlier that I'm huge already! I mean nothing else really (?!) but my bump is massive! Suppose it's alright when you are on the crowded tube and people offer their seats (If they did.) but still, it's almost embarrassing. Never been pregnant before so don't really know how to deal with these stuffs.
For example I don't even know, whether it's kicking-turning-raving-breakdancing or is nothing but me having belly rambles. The movements are weird, sometimes all I feel is a little nudge, sometimes a long, uncomfortable push (Lay in?!) on an organ or another, but they are never obvious enough to be called as kicks.
Other thing is the protecting layer of fatty life belt around me, hah! I just hope with time I'll be able to see a little elbow or foot on the tummy, through that. All we felt yet was a hard something on one side, (Possibly the little head.) which disappeared after touching and pushing it.
Don't even know whether or not I supposed to eat less or different. According to the mirror I'm alright, but according to the photos my parents have taken while were here I'm having giant octuplets. Guess it's just me being bloated, but not sure. Luckily I have Lee though, who makes me feel comfortable about myself almost every day. Yay.
Also, I'm not bounded to the bump, at all! Not on a trying to hide it way (I did that too, but it's un-hideable now.) but on the loving and caring way. Sometimes I even forget I'm pregnant and suppose it'll be like this, right until the very end.
We are waiting for the little monster, we really are, getting ready and all that, it just still doesn't feel real and I find myself guilty for not being excited or over the moon every minute of every day of this 'beautiful period' of... What? Fatness, size 14 tops instead of size 10, greasy skin, and difficulty of leaning over or down to pick something up?!
I know it's here and I can see it on those awful pictures, but not sure that I'm feeling it, neither physically and mentally.
I feel proper fucked up in the head instead.

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