I watched a program about IVF treatment not long ago... I obviously heard about it before, it's just something you don't really think about unless in the need, I suppose. As you all know, until recently (12th of March this year to be precise.) I believed I won't be able to have kids, and for some reason IVF never came to my mind, and it has nothing to do with my imperfect previous relationships or my -relatively young- age.
So in the documentary I watched, the age was the issue, the woman was almost 60 years old and decided with her partner to go for a baby. Even though we are talking about an English couple, they had to travel abroad cause in the UK you can't get this treatment done above the age of 45.
The Polish clinic was the winner, with the right egg donor and everything. Perfectly makes sense, but I didn't even think about that you have to go through many folders to choose the egg(s) with the most quality and attitude of yours. For example this woman's terms were mainly for the donor to be blonde haired and blue eyed. After trying and trying they had a baby girl at the end, and guess what?! She looks Polish.
No offense, I have quite a few Polish friends, they are all unique on a way, but most of them still has similarity in their bone structure on their face, especially around the eyes. I mean, you can easily make a difference between a typical English girl and a typical Polish girl. It's not bad, in fact nature's brilliant ways. I'm tempted to make an example with pictures, but I don't want to use any of my friends' photos, in case they'd get offended by the term of 'typical'.
Anyways, it made me wonder whether or not I'd go for IVF if I was in need. I've written about adoption somewhere at the beginning of my blog (Post 11.), I'd be scared of not being able to love the little one as my own, so that's a massive taboo.
As of this egg treatment... It's more personal, after all you carry the baby out yourself, with all it's ups and down, so you grow to appreciate both the baby and the fact that you are having one. But back to nature; Until it's born and grows up, you don't know who's genes will be dominant in him/her. What if the dominant genes are from the 'mum's side' aka the baby would look like the egg donor, a complete stranger?! Even knowing I carried out and raised and am it's mother, I'd feel a bit weird about it.
I know, it's not the whole point, but it's something you think about. Even if the egg(s) would be from my close friend, I would see her and my partner in the baby, not me and him. Call it selfish, but it'd make me feel uncomfortable.
The another fertility treatment which leaves me with doubts is when you get your own eggs treated, so you can have twins or triplets. It's not as harsh as the above, it's just... What for?! Agree, it would be fun to have a couple of look-a-like babies, especially if it's one of each, a girl and a boy, but let nature decide for god's sake.
Ah well, as I said, I've never before considered or even thought about any of the above, and luckily, as the example shows I don't even have to.
Just can't wait now for our daughter to pop her little head out, so we can finally push aside all the guessing and see for ourselves who she's more alike.
50 days to go. Yay!